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There’s a part of me that just wants to die. A very big part. To end this life that I’m living. To just down like fifteen doses of Tylenol or Claritin and be done. Ive tried to get better. Nothing works. I’m still fat and ugly. I’m still dumb. I’m still awful at dance. There’s nothing in life that I really, thoroughly love. Theater, writing, dance, friends. None of it. I would be better off dead.
But then there’s a part of me that still wants to be alive. To live, laugh and smile again, just like I used to when I was younger. The part of me that wants to live is dying, diminishing in size each day.
I don’t want to be here. I can’t be here. I might as well save other people the trouble of having me around if I just disappear for good.
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ok as a 25 yr old with cancer, kid and husband I WISH I had that easy option of. OK LETS DO IT.
BABY BE YOU. You are too negative and none of that makes YOU smile
ReplyI havnt wanted to be here for years to just make people stop saying "Im so sorry"
Sorry for being you is horrible. You are a teen that can be our nations next change. FOR ME BE YOU
Probably better to start working on changing the things you don't like. If for you that's your size and your appearance, ok. If you're fat, you can diet and exercise and maybe you'll never be a size 2 but you can be in shape and healthy and toned. If you think you're ugly (which I honestly doubt is true), you can make minor changes with hairstyle and makeup and you can learn to accept your flaws because it is our flaws that make us truly beautiful. If you're awful at dance, you can practice and learn from tutorials on YouTube and have fun with dancing even if you don't end up being very good. The more steps you take to change the things that bother you, the more empowered you will feel and the more you will move towards living, laughing, and smiling again. So make yourself some goals and get to work on creating you - the you that you want to be! I get that you don't want to be "here" in the place you are now - but you can get out of your head and make "here" into a much better place. And if you need someone to talk to, I'm "here."
ReplyThe number one thing suicidal people say to people they open themselves up to is "Everyone would be better off without me." And we all feel this way because the last thing we want to do is put the weight of our world on someone else's shoulders. But first, look at yourself. You think you'd make people's lives better if you lifted "burden that is you" off their shoulders. But you're wrong.
People like me and everyone else here are happy to help you carry this burden because we're just like you. You want to lift a burden of our shoulders and we want to lift your burden's off. Now, it ain't fair to take someone else's burden entirely or hand it off to someone else. I, as well as every good soul on earth, am willing to support you in this.
It's the piece of you that wants to live that made you post this. Treat yourself as listen to it. It knows a thing or two.
ReplyI KNOW THAT YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS :) YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, NO MATTER WHAT ANY ONE ELSE MAY SAY, OR WHAT YOUR MIND MAY TRY AND CONVINCE YOU :)
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, KEEP ON FIGHTING, AND LOVE YOURSELF!
I BELIVE IN YOU!! :)
Reply