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All my life I’ve lived with people who don’t understand me, been around people who don’t get what I mean when I say “I’m not your average person, I’m weird, scary, odd”
All my life I have wished for a person who would understand me. Hell, I wished for a whole room of people who understood me.
All my life I’ve been saying “I’m just like you”
But as I dream of art school, I wonder; all these people I’ll meet have the same love for art, the same understanding of release. So why am I so scared of that thought? I thought I wanted people to understand me.
Did I want no friends? Did I want to be alone? Did I want to be a reject?
Maybe it was me secretly protecting myself from the disappointment of friendship, love and all the things that betrayed me. Maybe I silently wanted to be the reject so I couldn’t get hurt, because nobody wants to be around the reject.
What is it with my mind? What didn’t I understand about myself?
Am I so used to being rejected, dejected, and hated that I couldn’t stand the thought of someone loving me and understanding me? Is it my hate for change? My hate for anything that wasn’t usual?
I wished that I could find someone like me, but the truth is I’m terrified of people like me because I’m terrified of myself, of my own mind and what its capable of.
Change scares me. But I wish this kind of change didn’t scare me.
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I think, you just like the thought of being unique and not being understanded is for you like a guilty pleasure. On one hand, it makes you feel lonely, but on the other, it gives you a good reason to feel 'not like everybody else'.
It's not bad to feel special, we all are not like each others even without being artsy or weird.
But being understanded is an really important thing to build a good relationship.
Changing means evolving, means living. Don't be scared. Nobody can take away your personality.
ReplyYou are special. You are unique. And that is something really beautiful.
Most of the people just copy the people around and become Copycats that the society wants. You don't do it and that makes you stand out from everything else.
If your environment doesn't understand you maybe it is time to change your environment. Your city. or whatever.
In every big city there are plenty of People that you can connect with. for sure.
Good Luck!! Love Yourself. You are awesome!!
Reply