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I am in a room with people I call my closest friends
But when I look around I feel like I cant find a soul who really knows me
No one who knows my thoughts or my struggles, people who say they know me people who are supposed to know me people who know the person I make myself be
I'm surrounded by people, by friends, by loved ones but I hold these secrets these thoughts and these feelings
I'm surrounded but I am alone
I spill my secrets out to a stranger knowing he can never get to close as there is 3 feet of bar in the way like the wall i build up around me in my mind
With every shot of whiskey he pours another unleashed secret spills from my lips
Why is it I drive people away
The only way I can get close to someone and really love someone is if I can trust them with my secrets
The secrets that keep me up at night
The secrets that every time I've opened my lips about another "friend" has walked away
I'm surrounded but I'm alone
I hear the laughs from the table next to me and I think how easy that must be
So I imitate their laughs to the whiskey in my hand but it doesn't sound the same
It'll never sound the same.
I'm surrounded but I am alone.
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Replythe answer to this is to take reasonable risks. open up. let people get to know you. share. invest in the relationships. and most importantly, stop drinking when you already know that its problematic.
Replythere's no answer to this, the same thing is happening to me too. but the only thing I want to say to you is that just because you are lost dont walk on the wrong path no matter what. just give yourself some time and embrace yourself. as long as you accept yourself and your own darkness ,people, at least some nice people will choose to try and find the real you behind everything too. just dont lose sight of who you are.
ReplyYou could also try meditation and see this situation from a detached mindful perspective this would give you greater clarity on what the problem really is, you have to work internally before anything else
Reply