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It's been 4 months since I'm hiding this and now I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending I'm okay, when I'm clearly not, seeing him with her.
And I can't do anything because she is a really good friend.
I hate that our technology is so advanced now you can see statuses, stories, and when a person is online or no. It kills me when we don't text at all, cause we did sometime ago. We did when he wanted to talk to someone about his feelings for her. And now when I need someone just to talk to, he isn't even around.
He understood when something was wrong with me and when I was sad, and he pestered me to tell him what the reason was. Now he just doesn't stop talking to her, caring for her, caressing her.
I know I'm being unreasonable but I'm not okay seeing them together. I'm not okay when she rests her head on his shoulder, when he has his hands around her waist, when she hugs him and stands like that for good 5 Minutes. They do this in front of me and another friend cause we 4 are the closest. They are their true self around us. So I can't even blame them.
I miss him caring for me. I miss him complimenting me on random occasions, just as a friend. He did that just as friends. Now he is all caught up in this relationship and he is very happy about it. He doesn't even see me around anymore.
We were going to meet after 1 month. I couldn't wait to see him and make fun of some random conversation we had the other day. But well, he got out of the rickshaw, looked at his girlfriend with the biggest smile and started talking to her till they walked off.
I know I'm being unreasonable at every point in this story, these are all very tiny things in a relationship but it kills me inside when I have to see someone I like so much, experience these feelings with someone else.
It's the worst to have feelings for your best friend, but you don't know what it feels like when he confesses to you that he likes your roommate.
And I know I have to get over him, and I'm trying my best, but I'm no where close to achieving that.
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I wrote a story exactly like this one last night.
I can relate to your story on a spiritual level and that's not an exaggeration.
I, too, unfortunately, am in love with my bestfriend.
It crushes my heart everytime he talks about the person he likes but since I'm a great actor, I always smile and pretend like I'm not hurting.
Worst part is, he knows I like him. But for him, he sees me as a friend. It's just my observation but he always make sure to treat me as how he treats his other friends. I mean, I'm glad he does that because it won't get my hopes up of him, also liking me.
But because I'm stupidly in love, there's still a part of me hoping that even just a little...
I know I'm being unreasonable but I keep on hoping that this guy that he likes, won't like him back. I'm being a horrible friend at this point but I can't help it.
(He's (questioning) bisexual, I'm pansexual, our other friend is gay. We call ourselves "Three Queer Friends" hehehe)
I don't know if my story will make you feel like you're not alone going through this but yes, unrequited love sucks.
Stay strong and hopefully, we'll meet "the one" for us someday.
ReplyThat is the exact feeling I have. I somehow want to see him everyday, but at the same time, I don't want to see him with her. I know we'll meet "the one" someday, but trust me, I've never had such strong feelings for anyone ever before. Its going to be hard to get over him.
ReplyWhat is pan sexual? Sorry just curious
ReplyYou're not being unreasonable about not wanting to see them acting affectionate around you. That shit can really hurt.
ReplyYes it does, and its going to be difficult when we all get back to campus and live in our hostel again. We're all going to see each other every moment, which means I will be seeing them together a lot more times than this
ReplyActually what sucks is that first, we would talk about a lot of random things and share a lot of inside jokes and laugh at some weird conversations. Now, things have changed. Its become all about his relationship. We have hardly spoken since. For him its completely normal because he knows he is giving more time to his girlfriend only because he will be chilling with all of us together in campus. But for me, it kills me inside.
Reply