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Q,
"Nothing's wrong"
"This is what I wanted"
"This is normal"
"I can handle life without you"
These thoughts circle my mind. I convince myself that everything is ok, because it is. I know it is. I'm simply overthinking. Everything is ok... But what if it's not?
Well that's ok. I've gone through this before. I've done it multiple times. "What?" You may ask. Well let me tell you.
Boys. Not men, no. Boys.
They come and go, some willingly and some forcefully. But that is always how I have known them to be. Disposable; things of the past; a nuisance; something to pass time; etc. And so when you and I end up not working out, I will be ok because I have gone through this before. You are not the first, nor the last. No one ever will be. This is how I am.
Do you understand now?
Does that make sense?
What will you think if I were to ever tell you this?
I guess I'll never know. In fact, I won't know anything about you. I never ask anything about you, no matter how much I want to. Why? I don't deserve to. Not when I know what I am capable of when things don't go my way. I don't want to settle. I don't want to compromise. I deserve the best and if you can't give that to me, then dispose of yourself.
Good riddance.
R.
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