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Is what my family could be typically described with once you learn more.
My mother has pitied my first brother because he looks like her. Tells me he has gone through the most emotional trauma in the family because my father doesn’t accept him.
Then, my father accepts my youngest brother, who looks like him, and shuns others out.
Then there is me. The only daughter; shunned by my father because of my gender, and shunned by my mother because I look more like my father.
It is an odd mix. I was the first child. Now I feel like a bystander. I realised they could never understand once I actually learnt why they never liked me. They never liked each other. My mom has acted like they were divorced, and my dad acts the same, mutual.
They’re delusions have made me wonder how they haven’t met people who should’ve suggested them to get help or get a real divorce.
I feel like I’m trapped, despite me locking myself in my room almost everyday. I’ve been abused by my mother, and then verbally abused by my father. Which was funny, since my dad used to abuse my mom who would only retort with verbal insults.
I.. don’t feel the pain that would accompany me when I think about why my life is like this. No one accepted me, so i just had to accept myself. Accept my life.
So I feel dull. Never could’ve made a friend in reality so trying online anonymously just makes me conscious and uneasy.
All in all.. I feel like no one could understand or take my situation seriously.
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Hey, you want to talk? Believe it or not I'm going through the exact same problem, maybe I can offer you some aid, or a friendship?
ReplyI know you said it makes you uneasy, but if you ever need support, I'm here
ReplyThank you.. I was hoping there would be someone who would respond.. i’d gladly accept.
I feel better venting, and I feel like I’ve gotten too used to a wrong situation.. but staying in my room was always better than staying with my family who have their own favourites and often ask which side i’d pick out of the both of them (even though they’d never pick me).
You said you were going through the exact problem?
ReplyYes, I can feel where you're coming from. But you know something good about getting used to a situation? You can plan in it, you can work to get away from it. You know what to expect (for the most part) and can better deal with whatever your family pushes at you.
My parents are divorced. I, myself, look a lot like my father, and share his personality, so often times my mother will take out her anger on me, rather than my sisters. Likewise, my father tends to favour me over my sisters. I've been through that verbal abuse. I've had to deal with the emotional abuse as well. It's not fun, and it's very damaging for children. But we are strong, you know? No matter how many times we cry, or break down, we are still here. We made it another day. That is an incredible feat. We are beautiful, no matter what we are told, and we should take care to remember that.
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