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I’m still new and skeptical about this but I believe it’s better than to keep it inside. Ok here goes nothing.
I’ve been bullied for quite a while now, three years to be exact. Three inconvenient, torturous years of high school bullying. At first things were really tough, but as time went by you learn to push things away and just let it be. But recently things got out of hand, I’m currently at my last year of high school and it seems as though my bullies want to “end it with a Big Bang”. I would normally choose to ignore and let it pass as always but this time it started to push through my walls and it ended up effecting me. I remember telling myself when I entered high school that I’d focus on my grades and live on with my life with no bother and care in the world. But here I am, at my last year of high school and wishing that I’d just listen to them and die.
I just feel utterly horrible and disgusted with myself. My self esteem is completely crushed and I feel worthless. I’ve lost any motivation to do anything and if this continuous not only will my grades plummet but it’ll worsen my mental state as well.
I know most would tell me to seek help from an adult or guidance counselor but I can’t find it in me to do so. It’s quite hard for me to speak to adults, let alone open up to one. I find it awkward and frankly unnerving.
I’ve lost a lot of people who I considered close so now I have this bubble around me and I’m afraid if I open up I’d break down. I’m just really tired with everything and considering listening to what they tell me. But to be honest though?
I’ve completely given up with myself.
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Hay that sucks!
Your in a bad spot to tell you the truth hischool is the worst and people and be Dicks.
You must have a little hope down deep inside because you are posting into the abyss.
Adult life is not like this. You will have more freedoms you will be able to get away from Burks like this so easely.
In the mean time focus on what you like a subject you are interested in. Do your school work and then put time and energy into the thing/ things you love. Do not make that thing a person people are flawed and will unintentionally let you down. And eaven if it is hard try to talk to a professional about the bullying. Those scars run deep and if you take care of them now then your future will be much better. If you can't talk to your parents about getting a counselor then see if you can find one on line. Or call the suicide prevention hot line or got to there website. They can help you find the help you need to get through this one last year.
Hang in there.
ReplyWhat do you need most? :)
ReplyI know how you feel. It sucks, I know it does. Everytime they say something it hits you like a punch to your self esteem, but you know what? Keep pushing foward and one day thisll be over, i mean they cant follow you all their lives right? I know how hard it is to talk to adults believe me . I tried to talk to my mom about my depression but I felt like she took it as me just feeling sad over something, rather than me feeling like im drowning in a world where i feel i dont belong. I honesty felt so alone at that moment, i felt like i had nobody who could help pull me out of this ocean i was drowning in. I ended uo thinking about suicide because i thought i had no reason to live and i too began to push people away because i thought that would help me, but i learned that surrounding myself with people who truly loved me helped a lot more. PLease dont give up, you're so close to being done with all of this. One day when you become a great proffesional you will look back and see this as a obstacle you overcame and that made you stronger. Sorry this is so long, but stay strong and keep pushing foward. This kind stranger sends you lots if love and prayers.
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