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Dear, Percy ( I just want to state that I've changed the name because I'm too afraid to admit anything and writing his name just makes it real and I'm not okay for it to be real and honestly I just want the whole thought of him forgotten for like ever, although there's a little hint in the name but only I will get it so it doesn't feel completely irrelevant. )
Although my initial thoughts when I think of you are, please can this be over now, why did it have to end this way? type of vibes, the most important part of this 'letter' is a thank you. Crazy I know; how flattered must you be huh? no but seriously, you were my first dove ( I couldn't even bring myself to even write the word but you get what I mean ) and although I didn't know it then I definitely do now. You've unknowingly helped me understand what dove is and although I may be mistaken or it may be 'my' version, you helped me regardless... unknowingly ( i want to add a laughy face but one, it doesnt allow me and two, i was tring to be serious (facepalm) ). The chemistry we built up through the years may not of meant anything to you but to me, its special and thats what i want a relationship built on. Not, through social media or one picture of eahother on like instagram. Youve made me realise i want a relationship built on chemisty and already existing memories. I get that like over 50% of relationships the two people werent friends or anything before and obvioulsy you have to start somewhere but what im getting at is like, id never want to rush anything. Look how we ended up, 5 years+ of memories and laughs and deep conversations and we couldnt even be bothered to try and take things to the next level; what were we to you? or were you just as scared as me to loose a friend? i guess we'll never know. Wow, that probably didnt seem much like a thankyou at all. Despite the fact i waffled on and asked rhetorical questions that will forever be unanswered ( yeah, is that paining you too? ) the message of it all- if you havent figured out; you were smarter than me but i can make things more complicated than they need to be- was thankyou for making me see the true meaning of dove without ever actually having to be in it, with someone i guess.
Id write more and try to explain everything but if we were 'anything' youll know exactly what i mean/trying to say to you and if you dont understand what im on about and you are like sitting there completely discombobulated then, im sorry. Sorry that the help couldnt of been two ways or maybe im more sorry at the fact that youre forever gonna be blind to fact you had a real keeper right infront of you.
- Elliot ( again the true identity is disclosed for reasons of fear that ill end up like flipping lara jean, if you know you know. Also i loved the fact that this could be a boy writing to a straight boy and no one will ever know if thats how the true events went down. )
P.s. Maybe one day i'll find my Peter Kavinsky, we can all only hope.
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