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Today I found out that I am an “Idealist” whatever that means. The more I searched on the web about definitions of Idealism, the more I found it similar to daydreaming (or at least what the web says) but for real tho, am I a daydreamer? One thing I know for certain is that I enjoy a good fantasy. Not in a fantasy video game or movie type of way but in a daydream sorta way. I have recently finally been able to put my thoughts into words and this was what I concluded: “Daydreaming and fantasizing about a scenario or a particular person distracts my mind from this cruel harsh reality." While this is a perfectly normal thing to do, I somehow think this is depressing since I realize how much of a creep I am. As embarrassing as it sounds, I’ve been fantasizing about this beautiful name Kayra I met during the summer in New York. She is absolutely stunning. She looks like one of those girls who would end up marrying a hot soccer player from Spain and would probably take up professional modeling as her profession, and she would probably be very good at it too. I don’t want to go into the specifics of what happened between me and Kayra in NY but all I could say is that everything is going really well except I wish more things could have happened between me and her. On the last day of summer camp when I invited her to get lunch with me even though I wasn’t even hungry, I could tell she didn’t hate me. And as sad as that sounds, a girl who doesn’t hate me is already lucky enough of a thing that could ever happen to me. Anyways, while we ate and talked the only thought the occurred in my head was “I wish I can stay in this moment just for a really really long time before reality catches up” One thing that stood out to me was when we were trashing talking about the people that were in our room during the last night she asked me “Did you think I was cool” As soon as I heared her question, my mind went crazy. Sweat broke out of me as I tried to figure out the possible implications and reasoning behind the question. However, in my mind at the time, I was convinced it must mean something positive. I wanted to say a lot, like “Your more than cool, you amazing and I wish I known you longer” or “I think u have a beautiful face that I can look at for a very long time without my eyes ever getting sore or tired” However, expectation and reality never really match up I just ended up saying “Yeah, you were cool” and I repeated it twice in an aloof manner. I hate myself. Anyways we hugged and said our goodbyes. Now its been a month and the picture of her in my head is slowly fading. But I want it to stay forever. The sad truth about life is that you will meet amazing people but the paths of your fates will never cross. But if it does however, if would be quite an awesome story to tell. And I hope in some years this would be a story with a happy ending, a story I wouldn’t be embarrassed to tell. I hope our paths would cross again, perhaps soon, idk I feel like it is easier for me to cross paths with her than it is for her to cross paths with me if that makes any sense.
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seems like you are partly in love with her, i dont know the exact meaning of love but the way u acted awkward or shy around her made me think so. the point is why do u want the destiny to make attempts go make your own, will that be so unreal ?? and aren't you guys in touch anymore?
ReplyListen here buddy, she sounds amazing and it sounds like the two of you clicked, am I right? Okay if you two have or had a connection did she give her number to you at some point? If yes, how long did it take you to write this message? 10 minutes? In those ten minutes you could have called her and had an incredible conversation? I have walked this earth for quite some time and what you've described has happened to me to and I could bash my head against the wall for not calling her.
I don't believe in fate, people who believe in fate are those who sat on their asses and take the time to make their dreams come true so they blame this fate thing like it's a divine entity.
If you don't have her number. Surely enough she must have shared personal information with you about where she went to school or in what city she lives. No one is invisible on the internet.
This question and what you do afterwards is one of those crossroads moments in your life, Are you going to try and find her or are you gonna blame 'fate'? (Y/N)
Also you should have said told her how amazing she was and how you can look at her forever. Cheesy but sweet dude!
Say you have her number, here is what you should say,
"Hello?"
"Hi, it's Batman," lets call you Batman for arguments sake, "you know we met at or in Gotham."
"Oh hi, Batman! I didn't expect to hear from you OMG! How are you?"
"I'm well thanks for asking. How are you?"
"I'm well too! Why are you calling?"
"Did you ever regret saying something you wish you had but you didn't because you were scared?"
"Uhm... I guess. Why?"
"You know how you asked me whether I thought you were cool?"
"Uh.... Yeah?"
Then you tell her that crap about looking at her forever and how amazing she is!
Don't make the same mistake as I did by not calling her! 90% of the world's problems can be attributed to miscommunication! And this goes out to the rest of you out there reading this comment! Tell him or her you like or love him or her! Pick up the fucking phone! Ask her to move in with you! Tell the one you love you spend each waking moment thinking about them! Pull your head out of your ass and apologize before it's too late! You might think to yourself that person is not thinking about you? How do you know that? You're not telepathic, you can't read his mind. Tell your partner with whom you are in a relationship with this is shit and you want to end it! Spare yourself the agonizing pain! Can I get a YES?! I asked you, can I get a YES?!
Look at me, I chose not to say Yes when I should have, and here I am, alone. The girl I probably should've married is who knows where!
GO OUT AND BE A YES MAN! OR WOMAN! THIS IS NOT A GENDER THING!
If you close this window and search some shit about a cat jumping at a cucumber on YouTube, I'm gonna kick your ass.