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I’m tired of everybody saying
“ looks don’t matter”
I know if a guy saw two girls,one with clear skin,straight teeth, and she had curves
And the other one with bad acne, crooked teeth and doesn’t have curves, who do you think the guy is going to pick?
My flaws: bad acne, crooked teeth, anxiety depression, and ocd. I know that I’m not a first choice on any guys account. I get it, but I think i and people like me, guys or girls derserve to be loved too. I’m exhausted, I’m exhausted at looking in the mirror and hating myself. I’m exhausted being single, I’m exhausted worrying about everything 24/7, I’m exhausted with being feeling sad all the time, lastly. I’m exhausted of being exhausted.
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First I want to validate your feelings. It sounds like it's been a tiring tiring time. Second I want to say I really believe looks are a lot more about context and situation. You're rarely comparing two people side-by-side. Getting a guy alone and excited about something can make a big big difference.
ReplyOh, the other thing I've learned - most countries outside of the US don't really care about teeth that much. And acne, anxiety, and depression are temporary and treatable, even when they are chronic.
ReplyAll men are not shallow. And there are many guys who have the same issues. You are not alone in this. If everyone realized the physical is a matter of genes that no one has to work for & $ they might have a different attitude about it.
Do what you can about the physical. There are many resources doctors & dentists who can help. As well as emotional help for those who can't afford it.
I'm sad you haven't found any thing good about yourself. I guarantee there are great things if you look & feed them. We have to to play to our strengths. The physical won't last for any of us. What's inside truly matters most. Be active in changing your life.
All my best.
ReplyOkay so looks totally matter, they even matter to you! You also would not want to be in relationship with someone that you were not attracted to at all. This is completely natural. Everyone is shallow no matter what kind on BS they want to spout off about whats inside that matters. Whats inside is not going to attract anyone to you in the first place. It will help you keep them, but wont bring them to your door initially.
That being said, you can still build a relationship from personality. But this has to start from neutral territory, through being a friend or college first. This means you need to get social, take cooking classes, join a book club, hell any kind of social group that meet in the real world. This is where people can develop a relationship with someone else which build around their personality and not how attractive they are.
Super attractive people can also fail heaps in relationships if their personalities suck, they can attract people to them easily but get dropped just as quickly, this is where what inside matters.
Don't worry too much about the end result of finding someone, if your focus is way out there, things are always going to seem impossible. I suggest starting with something small, diet and exercise, getting toned and eating healthy will boost your confidence and might just help with Acne, you will also have more energy to use towards feeling exhausted.
Ever had a close look at the faces of people in the gym, a lot have perfect bodies but are not too attractive in the face, the toned body makes them seem more attractive then they actually are.
Ever seen an attractive person with someone unattractive, I bet if you ask them how they met it's going to be something like we met at work, or at a cooking class, or book club or some shit, its rarely going to be I saw them across a crowded room and had to talk to them. If that is not the case than the ugly person is probably loaded.
Replylooks dont matter. because that hypothetical boy doesnt matter,because in the end the only thing that matters is you. The only thing that matters is what you experience. why would you gamble one someone elses choices to make you happy. be selfish,dont look for others approval,not boys,not parents,not society,figure out what makes you feel good,not what sounds good to others.
you wanna ditch society? do that. you wanna make art? do that. you want to party while the rest of society destroys it's self? sounds like a plan. instead of looking for other peoples love,instead of bothering to think whether or not you have flaws,find your own love. the love you have for existing,the love you had so strongly as a child to do things that are fun and not give a shit what anyone thinks.
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