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For the past hour I stared at a white wall, just watching it. I saw many happy and successful memories play on them, almost like a mini movie showing. Though, my thoughts turned dark after seeing them, reminding me on how stressed I was to make those memories.
"Your sickness wasn't cured, it was just moved someplace else."
"Come on, did you really have fun making that boat?"
"Oh please, you could've done way better than a 87% with how much you studied."
"Face it, they don't like you."
"They're just using you."
"We want to help you, but you keep pushing us away."
"Let us help, we can."
"All 4 of us together can make you stronger."
"We can take the pain away, or give it to someone else."
I hear her laughing. It won't stop. Someone, it's awful, help me. Make her stop. Please, make her stop. Can anyone hear her?! Please, anyone, help me!
MAKE HER STOP!!!
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You're perseverating. Replaying old negative memories, old failures, negative thoughts. You're the one who can take charge of those thoughts, but you can't do it sitting around staring at a wall. You've got to get out of your inactivity (which is likely a pattern) and start directing your energy into positive changes.
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