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I hate the people in my life who are pregnant.
My wife and I would need to spend $25,000+ to even attempt to have a kid. And then I hear how “hard” it was for them because they didn’t get knocked up the first time, or how (and this sounds terrible) but they miscarried within the first trimester and they had to start again. But all they had to do is fuck after 4 weeks and try again.
So my wife and I can’t start a family because we don’t have the money to pay for even the attempt at starting a family. That $25,000+ doesn’t guarantee parenthood. So to even start we are negative money.
So years have gone by and we are both in our 30s now and between student loans, and caring for my mother in law, the thought of starting a family is disappearing.
So yeah, 4 different people in my life are currently expecting a babies starting this month through February.
And I’m mad. I’m mad at the fact that it’s free and costs no money for him to fuck and start a family.
so fuck all of them.
And to anyone who has struggled with fertility and is now pregnant, I’m happy for you. and maybe you have some understanding or can relate when people in your life equated their struggle to yours.
I know I’m an asshole, but I’m just mad because I know now that I will never get to be a father.
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You're anger is at your own situation and yet you direct it at others. Everyone has their own challenges to cope with, and this is yours. Jealousy will only make it worse - it only hurts you.
There are many ways of becoming a parent. With all of them, there are no guarantees. And seeing as the average cost to raise a child (without fertility treatments) to the age of 18 is about $250,000.00, adding 10% to that due to issues conceiving- while a lot of money, isn't all that much when you look at the big picture.
ReplyStop comparing your life to others. Be happy for your pregnant friends. Everyone has challenges in life. If being a parent is important to you, find a way to surmount the challenge. Don't expect others to stop their lives and mourn and weep for you.
Life is hard work. The universe hates life. Rise to the challenge and earn your victories, just like everyone else. Spending your energy on jealousy only distracts from your goal.
ReplySo because of your jealousy, you hate people. Perhaps you not becoming a parent is not such a bad thing after all. No child should ever be taught that hating others due to jealousy is correct.
ReplyI relate to you in a way OP. My husband and I have been doing IVF and it is very expensive. So far we haven’t had any luck and have spent more than the $25000. We looked at adopting but just lawyers fees and agency fees was in the $40000 range. And our lawyer told us that in the US birth parents can change their mind up to a certain point even after you have the baby in your custody. So I think people don’t realize that, yes raising a child may cost 250,000 in a life time but my husband and I have already spent more than that 10% and have no child to show for it.
That being said, it doesn’t help your situation to not be happy for your friends and family. Wouldn’t you want them to be happy for you?
I do understand the frustration but I hope you find peace.
ReplyMan you need to rethink parenthood cause you’re acting like a child. Maybe best to not have a family dude.
ReplyNot sure if you are actually mature enough to be a parent, but consider adopting or fostering a child from foster care. The child needs a home and the state will pay you to raise it. That being said, it isn’t free money....you are paid to buy food, clothes, and toys for the child, not to get extra money for yourself. But you don’t have to fork out money for IVF to be a father. There are kids in foster care who’s parents were druggies or abusive that need guidance and a chance at a stable life. Of course, some of those children have emotional issues, so go slow figuring out what you are getting into.
ReplyI understand where you're coming from and I know your not meaning that you hate your friends, your mad because they are getting something you want so badly. Everyone in the comments can't seem to understand that you are happy for your friends but at the same time you're mad and pissed off because they get what you have yet to get yourself. Its okay to be angry and jealous at your friends for getting what you want. Its okay to be angry and mad at this situation. I myself am too. I love my friends and family and the children they bring into the world it just hurts to see them get what I crave to have. Keep your head up my friend, I hope that you are blessed with a bundle of joy of your own soon enough.
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