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I think this is a very common thing to suffer from. I am currently on college, and I get really stressed out about getting grades higher than 7... I cry, sometimes get palpitations, feel really nervous, my stomach usually hurts a lot. It's nothing really that bad, but it makes me extremely sad to feel my value as an individual depends on my grades...
I know it just has to do with my upbringing, and I do notice it's unhealthy. I would love to go to therapy about it, since I haven't been able to solve the problem myself, but I don't have the money to do so. I hate feeling my value is attached to a number... but if it is not, then how much am I worth? am I even worth anything? am I a failure? How should I feel? Where should my value be? Should I make the money I earn my value? Then what if I lose my job, as it is very common in my country? What if I start obsessing over my job too...?
Where do you guys find value in your life? What do you do to feel useful?
I just honestly don't know how to tackle this in a healthy way anymore... I get significantly less stressed out lately, but I still suffer a lot when I think I did bad on an exam. I would love to be different, but I also wonder if being different would make me a failure... maybe I just am like this because if I weren't I would just be a slob... I dunno... I guess I just wanted to write this to see if it helps clear my mind a bit
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Grades don't matter. What you are able to do is what matters. The things you learn are what really matters. I know many successful people and millionaires and most of them are either high school or college dropouts. It's because they love learning and are courageous enough to challenge anything and try everything to succeed.
What I'm trying to say is that your grades don't mean much other than how hard you studied on an exam and how lucky you got.
ReplyI had this issue last year bc my grades were getting worst and I wanted to get into a good college. The stress got me overwhelmed and I fell into deep depression. I'm thankful that my mom saw my struggle and told me that I was too much of a perfectionist and not everything is always gonna go my way. All you can do is try your best and hope for the best. That's all that is in your power. I took her advice even though it was hard to do at first cause it became a habit of mine to make everything perfect. But after several of wks I learned how to balance my education and my life. It was hard but i was able to do it. My life is less stressful now and I'm doing good in school. Don't drive yourself crazy for a grade it doesn't determine who you are it's just a letter. Just try your best...that's all you can do
ReplyI needed a really high grade in the university access exam to study what I wanted, so I spent my last year of high school studying every freaking day so I would get in. I did get in in the end, but I still have anxiety ever since (2 years later) and I am in university now. My grades went down and I failed my first subject, I studied really really hard for it and failed a second time anyway. It made me feel completely useless, but it also made me think. We are young, we don't need to be in a rush all the time, we can always try twice, three times, ten times, and even if then we don't make it, we can always find something else to do. It's okay. Education gets harder every year, we may have been class best in primary school, but it doesn't mean we are dumb just because our grades went down, it's normal!! It doesn't matter if it takes you another year to graduate from university (it has been hard for me to accept this) you are still you!! your value isn't attached to your academic record!!
I hope this makes you feel better somehow and I hope you understand what I meant because English is not my first language haha. Just want you to know that there's a college girl in Spain hoping you do well in life!! (and in college too but yknow haha)
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