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Today, I got off work at 6pm and due to the rain didn't get home until 7pm. When I arrived home, my mom was furious, suggesting I had went out after work and didn't tell her. Apparently, she called my relatives looking for me thinking the worst. I work shifts and don't have a set schedule. I get off work at different times every day. I never tell my mom what time I'm finishing. After work, I just go home. I feel like she treating me as if I'm her husband when I don't need to be checked upon. I'm independent and need my own space. I wish I could move out, but I'm also still in school and am not financially set to make that step. My mom can be so controlling and I can't take it. Her assumptions get me stressed out quickly and moody. I feel so happy when I leave my house, but as soon as I return I often think about killing myself. I won't ever go that far, but its very difficult to communicate with my mom and right now I wish I could see her less and less. does anybody have any tips for establishing healthy boundaries with family?
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Am I just a very rude person
It all started when I won that fricking competition. I was the very best in computer when I was younger. Now that Iām older people still expect the same thing...
Tell her you are living your own life, but be careful... she could kick you out. Sadly, with people like that you really are best off on your own. There's not much you can do while they have leverage over you. Personal experience.
Replyso you have a mother who believes that you should be courteous and respectful to those you live with and keep them aprised of your schedule.
I would agree.
and if you don't want to do that, then move out and reside independently.
ReplyText or call her more let her know
This way she will never bug you she has all the info at hand
Flood her with info some good some ehhh
Then you will have your space
work smart not hard
Or move out
ReplyBe clear and honest about how you feel. Set your boundaries and let there be consequences for each time she crosses them, until she gets that you are serious. I.E. Boundary: Please don't scream at me. Consequence if she screams: Ignore her.
Replyshe yells and screams at me before i even get a chance to explain. In her eyes she is being protective but to me i feel its suffering and its getting to the point where when i do move out i may never want to see her again because its too difficult to communicate and my body can't handle that type of stress anymore.
ReplyOmg, I feel your pain. My Mum was the same. She's controlling, not protective and it sounds like she doesn't respect your boundaries. Also you need to make your boundaries clear, and be prepared for her to not like that. Just stay calm and back yourself. I had to move out at 17 temporarily to a friend's house as I told them what I was going through. I'm 27 now and life got so much better after I moved away from her. I know moving out can be scary but it is so freeing and you get your life back. She sounds narcissistic. But I believe in you! You sound like a strong person. Please respond if you feel š
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