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i'm not really sure where to start, but i have been wanting to tell someone about how i've been feeling for a while. i have feelings for a guy that is in a relationship. however, sometimes i get an underlying feeling that he wants to be with me. we have an extremely complicated history being that a few years ago we confessed our feelings to each other, but i wasn't ready for a relationship at the time so i split it off with him. at that time, before we told each other our feelings, we were talking and texting each other all the time. but after i broke things off as a relationship he got a little upset. i wanted to make sure he didn't think it was something that he did, but i just think he was a little upset. about a year passes and we are still friends but we just don't talk as much. then he gets a girlfriend, and i have to hear about it from my other friend. at first it was a little awkward, but i was happy for him. we didn't really talk but we still hung out because we were in the same friend group. a month or so into his relationship, i knew he wanted to be with me, but he really wanted to have a girlfriend. i was still unsure about how i felt about a relationship, but if he did ask me i probably would've said no, for a few different reasons. 1) i was friends for about 10 years with the girl he is going out with. i respect her and i wouldn't want to "steal" him away from me. and 2) i wanted him to be happy. this girl goes all out. anniversaries, birthdays any other significant occasion she is always there and by his side. but the reason i knew he still kind of wanted to be with me was because he subtly said he liked me in a hidden way. i played it off like i didn't hear what he said, but i did. he would also talk to our other friends about what he should do. i'm just a little sad and frustrated about the situation. he never really confronted me with his feelings, but i don't blame him because i wouldn't want to do that either. i'm someone who hides their feelings so most people don't really know what i'm thinking, or they assume i'm not interested in a relationship. my crush and his girlfriend have been going out for over a year now, and all of my friends that know about them obsess over their perfect relationship. i also know that his girlfriend is secretly a little jealous of me, which i understand because of our history. i can't really talk to my close friends about it because they obviously want them to be a couple forever. sometimes they gather together and start planning their wedding and things like that. i usually don't participate because i personally find it a little awkward for me. i'm in high school so i know these relationships may not last, and that was one of the reasons i didn't want to be in a relationship with him. i also loved our friendship. lately we've been talking into the late hours of the night, and both of us try to keep the conversation going. i still feel a spark between us. we do extra curricular activities together so i still see him all the time, but i just feel like i need to get my feelings out. i don't want to break them up, but i want to be the one he wants. anytime they are together i feel depressed. i'm happy and sad at the same time. there's one more thing that needs to be pointed out. we don't really talk in person. we mainly text. this is a little problem, but we've been working on talking more in person. we text so naturally to each other, but we can't talk. i need to get some opinions on my situation and if i should move on or confront him about my feelings.
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There are many approaches to this situation... but I dont think any one of them will stand out as "the right one." I think that if you like him, and you think he likes you, you should definitely tell him how you feel. Then the ball is in his court. If he truly likes you... maybe even loves you, then you've gained a soul mate. ... if he doesnt, then you know you can move on and find someone worthy of your time. Good luck!
ReplyYou should never go after someone in a relationship ever!
If he wanted you he would not be with her.
ReplyI think you should continue to hang around and maybe at some point he will realize that you are the one he should be with. They wont last forever dude.
ReplyI'm in a very, very similar situation. The only difference is that me and my guy are a little older. I'm in college, and I don't see or talk to him much because of that and the fact that he lives with his girlfriend. It's a really messy, confusing situation to be in and I'm sorry you're going through this too. I'm honestly not sure that any of these comments are the right things for us to do in this situation either. In my opinion, I think for you, it would be best to wait a little bit and see what happens. I know you said they've been together for a year, but work on talking to him in person before you make another move. This will help you decide what you need to do from here, especially since you will be able to better see his true intentions when you look him in the eye and talk to him in person. Best of luck to you.
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