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I hate everything I am
I find myself covered in shame
and I don't even know why.
Is it my indulgences?
Is it my temptations?
Is it my past?
Is it my self-image?
I wish I could get better.
I continue to look up,
but continue to feel down.
Every time I look at her,
I'm reminded that I'm not good enough.
I don't have a chance so what's the point?
It's not that she's rejected me,
It's the fear that comes with the possibility
that she won't feel the same way absolutely.
In my mind, it's not a shadow of a doubt,
it's a lunar eclipse.
I know there's love for me above,
I know there's love for me at home.
But it's so hard to feel the love,
when I feel so worthless.
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I know that this post shows no indicators of seeking advice but I can’t leave it alone.
Re: I wish I could get better ... sometimes we get stuck trying too hard to make ourselves better. Shame is a relentless feeling because it’s so stubborn and unforgiving; an irrational sense of guilt that is difficult to dislodge because we won’t give the self the permission it “needs” to move on. If you want to, please consider the idea that the healing can begin when we nurture the mind with what it wants to hear ... “I am willing to forgive. I give myself permission.” Affirmations for sleepy times.
There is love for you.
ReplyThank you, this means a lot. I find myself getting stuck because it feels comfortable and I let it win. I've noticed that a lot of my issues are down to mindset.
Reply