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It's been months and I still miss you. You were the first guy I've truly liked and every day, I keep thinking that things could have been different if your ex didn't appear in your life... OR if I have done something else to help you move on. I don't know what I could possibly lack for you to not want to be with me though. I attend a great ivy league, I maintain my grades and GPA, I have a stable job, I am an active dancer on a competitive dance team, I do community service, I get along with EVERYONE just fine, I am financially independent, and I carry my heart on a sleeve. I'm loyal, patient, considerate, and enthusiastic. YET, you just couldn't move on from your ex and that was something I couldn't help. I was so patient with you though. Anything and everything you do, I respected it. NO QUESTIONS. During calls, when you wanted to sleep early, I let you go because I wanted you to get a good rest so you have a better and good day the next day. When you didn't want to try things out anymore, I didn't even ask you why. I let you go just like that because I didn't want to hold you back. To think about it again, I just wished things could have been different because you made me the happiest girl on earth and now all I am filled with is pain. When my friends ask me how I am, I tell them I'm okay and that all I want is for you to be happy with your life. Even today, I care about you. You're not a bad guy and I'm sure your intentions weren't to hurt me, which is why I forgive you for this ongoing pain that I still have and I forgive myself for opening my heart so easily. ALL my friends and any person knows me know that anyone who ends up with me would be lucky because I just don't open my heart like that. I am a girl that chases after her dreams, goals, and aspirations. I am that girl that puts others before herself just so they can be happy. Thank you though, for teaching me what it is like to genuinely care about someone you like. If we are meant to be, we'll make it work in the future. But for now, I cannot wait for you anymore... If only you knew how much pain you have given me.. :(
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