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I recently injured myself snowboarding. I went off a jump carelessly, over confident, and my heels went up in the air because I was going too fast. I fell onto my back/ neck area and I was folded in half, my knees hitting my face. The drop was around 8-10 feet. I felt everything crack from my neck to my back. My body sprung out back to a laying position and I immediately felt my left leg go numb. I thought of the worst case scenario, either my leg is broken or my neck is. Lucky, after regaining my breath I checked for movement, range of motion and my back and neck, although in pain, didn't seem to be broken; of course I have never had any severe injury so I didn't know what to look for, just checking for inability. After being brought down the mountain and still not being able to walk, nor stand, I was thankful my initial thoughts didn't come to fruition.
I then began to think, "would that have been worth it?". I understand the factor of chance when it comes to extreme sports, even life in general, but would this mean that I came close to a life changing experience and survived in a way that I am able to retain my able-bodyness? Should I change my interest in order to try to maximize my life expectancy? I began to think of how close I could have lost this "mundane" life of mine that entails, school, family, work ,etc. I am extremely thankful for my ability to still be alive with just whiplash, herniated neck disk and a knee injury, but does this mean that I should change who I am? Would I be considered ungrateful and beckon my demise if I don't cease to "live adventurously"? Or, should I take it with a grain of salt and accept that it was just merely chance and I got what inevitably will eventually occur? Will one say be worse?
I am still in a sensitive state where my perception of life is in question. I so want to live a fulfilling life with a career, a family, perhaps children, but at the same time, I could walk outside and be injured or killed in a different way. We all read and hear news reports about innocent bystanders involved in the crossfire of a chain of events that ultimately robs them of their lives without a moments notice. Is it even worth it to "play it safe"? Was I not playing it safe before?
I understand that for some, this may seem as a cliche, over thinking of an event to the point of philosophical crisis. Anyways, I just wanted to share that because right now I am noticing all the simple things I am not able to do until further notice. I am so thankful that I am not alone and have my partner to help me through this healing process, however long it may be. Even laying into bed or sitting up is too much for me to accomplish without assistance.. so like they say "you never appreciate something until it's gone".
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