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I officially think my mother hates me. She acts like she loves me one second and then she starts screaming at me the next. It's like shes putting on an act, pretending that the love part really exists. I hate living in the same house as her. All she does is yell at me and take her own anger out on me. She screams at me when I do one small thing she doesnt like. And if I dont like what she likes and i like something else, I'm apparently selfish and I have to like what she likes. She makes me feel worthless and so depressed and angry and I cant do anything.
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I honestly think a lot of times with toxic parenting, it's not because they don't love you, they're just projecting themselves onto you. Their expectations, their faults, their shortcomings. You're the closest person to take it out on, which really isn't fair. It seems like she probably has some issues of her own she needs to sort out. It's a wild guess here, but she may be operating out of fear, controlling every bit of your life because she's worried about something. She has some internal shit she needs to deal with but perhaps fear judgement and so she keeps it internal. It's not healthy for you nor her, but I feel like maybe she has some issues with herself. Parents aren't perfect, they're only human and have problems of their own too. Maybe she needs to talk to someone to sort herself out to stop projecting her demons onto her loved ones.
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