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I can't bring myself to forget and forgive what horrible things people have done to me continously for the past 3 years. It was 3 years!!! non-stop of drama, rumors, harassment, dehumanization, mistreatment, discrimination, humiliation, stalking, and lies. So much more was being done behind my back and to me,all for no vaild reason. It has put me through so much distress and hell, I have lost myself. It brought turmoil into my life and made my life worst on purpose. Not only did I suffer mentally and emotionally but physically too. My body is being effected because I'm no longer well as oppose to before. It has made me alot worst for my well-being.
It's hard not to wish any harm towards all of them involved. To not want revenge and purge for their malicious behavior. I am not exaggerating about the sick and twisted things that people were doing to me. Their actions were also passive aggressive no matter where I went, I was followed. I had so many thoughts of wanting to murder them because they wouldn't stop. I am not a bad person and these fucking piece of shit people thought it's okay to attack me indirectly.
They were using psychological games on me, harassed me online and off. Manipulated and tampered with my life and other things in my life. They did everything to make me look bad and the bad guy. Even come up with false allegations about me for things that are false. I have become paranoid and worried about my safety on many occasions. They are monsters with no remorse, empathy and they get away with hurting me.
THEY HURT ME AND CAUSED ME HARM!! :'(
FOR 3 FUCKING YEARS!!! WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION, REASON AND COULDN'T CONFRONT ME BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL COWARDS.
FUCKING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE COWARDS.
Everyone who was involved or knew didn't have the decency to tell me the truth.
None.
THEIR ACTIONS Will NEVER Be JUSTIFIED!!!
I never got justice for it because I could hardly prove it and I felt stuck. Can you imagine how this causes me to develop really bad trust issues, which I now do more then ever.
None of the intentions were good and were never meant for doing good, it was just impossible. It has gone so far that I was having many thoughts of wanted to kill myself and even they were tracking me and telling me to kill myself in a passive aggressive way.
Nobody has the right to tell me that I'm suppose to be okay after 3 years of the tormented mistreatment. Tampering and discriminating me, all for what? I don't know and I'll never know because nobody told me a fucking thing when they knew something wasn't right. No one stood up against anyone that was causing me hell deliberately. I was thinking that I was being hacked and my info exposed. I was thinking that I was being exploited because certain incidences weren't adding up and came across as suspicious.
Could you really blame me?
They could of done jail time but nobody said anything to me or helped me stop whatever was being done to me. I felt I was being taken advantage of and going completely insane.
I have occurrences where I really really want to hurt these people who were doing this to me, and I kind of wish that could of been possible. I know better... I honestly feel I would be able to commit a crime for fucking sabotaging and ruining my life for 3 years. Can make anyone turn really crazy but I'm made to think it's only me the problem. I will never believe that this was my doing and that I deserved any of it.
I may have made mistakes in my life but I never hurt anybody on purpose or seek revenge. When i did something wrong and hurt someone I was sincerely remorseful about it.
It is so frustrating for me to have people point out my sins, flaws and whatever else about me, then attack me for it. When they purposely go after me or others and deliberately try to cause harm, they go unpunished and nobody batts a fucking eye or says anything.
This is where it is beyond unfair and still, I don't get any answers and truth about what the hell was being done. Nothing, like it never mattered or exist except the fact I'm the one with the scars.
I wanted so badly to do something about it and stick up for myself, but it couldn't happen because I was lacking evidence and I didn't want to go around wrongfully accusing others. I couldn't tell if it was someone I knew, some stranger or perhaps someone vindictive because of something of the past. I don't know and I don't know why.
I would love to gain justice for it but I don't think this will happen. This is why I hate where I live and the surroundings because of what they put me through.
Whereever, I went I felt like trouble was following me.
I can't get over it. I really am having difficulty to let go and forget about it. 3 years of the same repetitive, harassment and continuous behaviors towards me. On top of that I was being attacked by nearly everyone that I don't even know existed or had any part of my life at all.
I don't fucking know.
What I do know is, I wish I could of caught who was doing it and give them a taste of their own medicine.
I don't believe eye for an eye but this is truly unforgivable.
How can I forgive 3 years of non-stop psychological abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse,
discrimination, passive aggressive and tormenting harassment?
I was being dehumanized as a person and treated like a psychopath over something probably so trivial. These people were literally on some kind of witch hunt to try and burn me alive like it was the 15th -16th century.
I'm not a fucking witch people.
I hate that I was so aware of it all and could easily see what was going on around me. I knew something was wrong and uneasy. I knew people were lying, hiding and scared to say something too.
Maybe, I am a witch afterall.
How do I liberate myself from it and let it go?
What the hell would you of done dealing with this mess for 3 years straight on a daily basis?
Please, don't hesitate to give your best thoughtout suggestions.
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I've been in the same situations, 8 years ago. Also some other problems before that. I haven't forget any of that. Yeah, it's difficult, I still live in a misery life with hate and anger. But I learn that to be strongest isn't how you took revenge on others, but it's how you control your anger towards others. "Sabr" they said. It's best to walk a peaceful path alone rather than dragging the haters along with us, they just slow us down, as what they intend to do to us.
I'll be honest that I haven't let go of those people who hurt me. But I wouldn't care about them or what they did before either. It's just losing my opportunity to appreciate other good people that helped me before you know? So I Iet go those problems to god to decide what he should do. Heck, I wouldn't know what god will do, but I can't judge god either. But all I know is that what comes around will comes around, and I'm better than those shitheads.
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