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i have spent countless hours praying for you, longing for you, for you to be happy, healthy, and safe, and for you to come back into my life; i want to grow up and grow old alongside you. summer was a whirlwind, getting to know you, experiencing my first taste of freedom in college. i thought we might have been able to be something more, something beyond friends, but i think i was too hostile, too prickly, too afraid of opening myself up. i'm sorry. now that i like you, you like many others, but that is beside the point. i miss you, being your friend, our late night talks and spontaneous trips to little local convenience stores for candy at the 4 in the morning. i don't know where i messed up, but we don't really talk anymore. now, heading into my second semester of college and nearing the age of 20, after seven months of knowing you. i can wholeheartedly say i thought we were going to be best friends for life, it hurts me so very deeply that you seem to have let go of our friendship. we do message occasionally, every other month or so, but i miss what we had. i know this a time of change and evolution and fleeting friendships, but out of everyone i've met this past year i never thought that you would be the one to leave. i've tried talking to you about this once, how i feel. you brushed me off and offered an insincere apology, talked to me for a few more days before going back to your usual silence, ignoring me again. i don't know what to do anymore
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Hi,
When you encounter something that has never been like anything you've had before it can be quite tough when it walks away.. But one thing I learned, the hard way in my college days is that those people who are there, then aren't and when they are it's like you barely know them anymore and their tone is simply that: insincere; those people are toxic. Perhaps not to their friends, professors, family or the world, but in YOUR life, they're toxic.
You didn't need them before, and I'm telling you that you don't need them now either.
What I chose to do as focus on myself; yes on books but also on looks and physicality ! The more I focused on myself the more like minded people I found wiring into my circle. Found new loves and friendships by being exactly who I wanted to be: myself.
Give it a try.. Chat some more?
Humbly & Respectfully,
Jade
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