My Timed Entry

This feeling of always finishing last, always behind, the one who's in the back of the line, late blooming, the bird who can't fly started bugging me again.

And, I'm growing tired.

I'm so drained.

There's nothing else for me in this city.

It's always the same faces.

Nothing new.

No attachments, no bonds.

People that somehow seems to be doing a progress, always many steps ahead of me in any possible way.

I feel stuck here.

I just want to leave, but I can't.

Even if there are girls and guys that still lives with their parents, they're doing something! Picking a course that is right for them or the one they always dreamed, getting a job somewhere else, in the process of moving out, they have their own money, they have companies and have fun.

Meanwhile I'm here...

Early twenties, feeling like a failure, all my efforts are for nothing, I can't say I have friends here, I don't hang out because I totally stopped liking this, I can't really say I have a job... I work with my parents, I can't say I have a money for myself, no matter how hard I try to save it or hide in a small box and shove it in my bathroom cabinet... It's never mine, soon my parents set their sights on it and start sweet talking.

I feel sick of everything.

I just want to be anywhere, a place no one knows me and I know no one either, get any job, janitor, cashier, anything, live in a lonely but comfy house...

At night go grab Ice cream, burgers, pizza or a green meal.

If I feel like drinking on Weekends, stop by a bar, have a beer or small bottle of Smirnoff, cut short any conversation and leave.