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Anxiety
5 years ago · 3 · Explicit
96
Today I woke up and was immediately nauseous! I had to get work, but while I’m walking, driving, listening to music, I don’t even feel awake. I don’t even feel alive. Sometimes I pinch myself, just to see if I’ll feel it. I bite my fingernails until they bleed, to make sure that I can bleed. I don’t even feel alive. I feel so out of it that it’s like a BAD HIGH. No one understands how I feel because if I try to open up to my loved ones, I’m always the hypervhondriac, the drama queen. I’m shaky. I’m light headed, I’m dizzy, I have brain zaps. And then no one talks about what anxiety does to your stomach. Messing it up so that you have so much diarrhea that your asshole actually starts fucking bleeding! Then you realize that you need to eat because of your malnutrition, but you’re too nauseous too eat!
I’m tired of waking up everyday and not even feeling alive !
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I'm sorry you're feeling so nervous and sick. That sound like a rough time.
ReplyI go through identical situations and suffering!
I wish I could give you a big hug. Life is not always easy or fun, especially when one feels alone and is struggling!
What you are experiencing is indications you are human. It doesn't mean you are wrong or did anything bad. It's ways we humans cope when life feels like it's going off the rails.
Hopefully you can find a support channel or network--even if it's just one individual--to confide your feelings to. It may be a school counselor, chaplain, a support group sponsor, or even just a medical provider. I know healing for me started when I began telling someone I could trust about things concerning my life. It's breaking the silence in a safe and soothing way. You can just call up a free teen, mental health, legal, crises, or other telephone line to ask for advice and suggestions. Find yourself a trusted person who will listen.
Thank you also for being so brace to talk about things. You are obviously a very brave loving wonderful person. ❤️
Reply"brace" I meant "brave!"--typo!
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