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It all started about a year ago. Looking for a new passion, I decided to learn how to dance. After looking around I found the offer of a dance studio with dancing classes for singles. I decided to give it a chance, so I called the studio and booked the first free lesson. Upon arriving there, I notice that almost everyone there was quite a lot older than me. Being 18 years old, I was in a group with people in their 30s or even 40s. But there were some younger people too, and among them, my current dance partner. For the purpose of this story, let's say her name was Emma. At first, I thought Emma was around 2 years older than me, 3 at max. From the beginning, she was the one that I enjoyed dancing with the most. Fast forward 2 months, we had a chance to hang out with 8 people from our class. That's when I first got to know what she studies, what are her main interests, and I learned the fact that she is 6 years older than me. Again, fast forward 3 months, our classes for singles are coming to an end. Now, our teacher recommended us to create couples so we can learn faster and try to master dancing with our permanent partners. I decided to ask Emma to be my dance partner, as I had the most fun dancing with her, and I thought that we were doing pretty good together in the dancing department. To my surprise, she agreed. That made me really happy. Starting in September, we joined dancing classes, this time together. Along with us, 4 other people transferred from our old group. Because now we had a smaller group, we had a chance to go for drinks more often. With time, I learned more and more about Emma. When we were out, I was mostly talking to her, as she was the one that I was most interested in. It was at this time when I started developing feelings towards her. In November, I decided to ask her out for the first time. The response from her was quite shocking, but for an unexpected reason. You see, she told me that her mom was really sick and had to take exhausting medicine treatment, which also meant that Emma had to stay home for that Weekend. Of course, that was understandable. 2 weeks later, I decided to try again. This time she told me that she has to study a lot. This time, I was a bit skeptical, because in the meantime I also learned that Emma and another girl from our dancing classes were going to speed dating meeting. A week later I learned that the meeting was quite nice and that they both met some interesting people. I decided to ask her out for the third, last time. Again, same response, no time. Then came Christmas, 2 weeks without seeing each other. Finally, we arrive at the present time. See, back in October, I asked Emma if she would like to join me on my prom. She answered that she would actually join me. Lucky me, I guess. And that's the reason for this story. I went to my prom yesterday. I decided to drive myself, so I picked up Emma at her place, I gave her a red rose, complimented her on her outfit and we were on the go. The prom was quite amazing, but surprising nevertheless. I expected to dance throughout most of my prom, but something quite different happened. Instead of dancing, we sat there for most of the time and talked. I learned so many new things about her. We talked about almost everything, although I was mostly asking questions about her, and from time to time telling something about myself. And then, somewhere in the middle of our conversation, she dropped the bomb on me. Somewhere in the middle of the sentence, she mentioned the guys that she was dating. At that moment, it stung like hell, but luckily I didn't give any signs of that. The rest of the night was great, a mix of dancing and conversating. After we decided to leave, I drove her home, we hugged and said goodbye and I was on my way home. But something was different. Something didn't feel right. I felt empty like I've lost the purpose. That feeling still persists. I also realized that I have to make a choice. Because I know how I feel towards her, I need to do one of the two things. I can either cut the losses and lose my dance partner, or stay, experiencing the pain of knowing that she is with someone else every time I see her. The ending is still unknown. Why does life have to make some things so hard?
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6 years, it's a long time at that age. It would be like you being a date at an elementary school prom. It isn't maturity or commitment or even depth of emotion: it's the gulf of experience.
So she can't be 'yours' but she obviously cares. You could waste that or simply realize you can have friends that are not romantic partners.
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