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I think I have depression. I hate the way I look, the way I am... I just hate me. The kids in my class ignore me and I often walk around by myself. I always doubt everything I do and I feel like there is a little voice in my head screaming all my mistakes and failures; making me believe I am a failure.
I get stressed and panick when I have to talk to new people, I have a close group of classmates who are my friends but if you are not one of them, I find it really hard to talk to you. I feel so tired and that even if I get 8 hours sleep, I am still so tired.
I often cry myself to sleep and get jealous of my classmates.
I dread drama because I have to get up and be centre of attention.
I just want to stick my earphones in, turn the music full volume and ignore the world.
I just wanna end it all.
-Ruby an anxious british teenager x
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I have been fighting with depression for some times. At least, I think that's what it is. I've never been to someone to be properly diagnosed, and I would hate...
Think about things that would make you happy,make a list of them. Pin the list on your clip-board, at the side of your bed , write it on your wall - whatever you choose.
Every day , think about at least ONE thing on your list and do it. Start easy, the easiest thing on your lose for example saying 'hello' to someone you never spoke to in school or maybe 'smile'. Baby steps ..
Imagine yourself confident even if you're not. You CAN imagine at least and keep imagining.
If you can't do one thing a day then try one thing on your list a week and them pick up ..build up.
listen to music, read books suitable for your age.. You will be amazed how many places books will take you. You will learn so much from reading, for a while even, it will aka you away from your reality.
.You don't want to run from reality but you want to escape now and then and come back with fresh eyes.. Maybe music will do , a walk, spend a weekend folding your wardrobe or do a colour order. Whatever as long as you finish a task. These little things will give you some control , a little escape and maybe put a smile on your face.
I know this won't make sense no but it will later but remember that, you are an individual and meant to be different from everyone else , if we are all the same it wouldn't be an amazing world around us. It would be so boring , wed have no inspiration and our minds would know just that. Be kind to yourself. light some candles , run a long bath with some relaxing music.
let your eyes close and your mind imagine everything about yourself that you would like to change and why?? would it make you happier?
And one last thing ----- every single person you know in your surrounding,, doesn't like something about themselves , their life and are very similar to you when it comes to confidence and trying this "fitting in thing" just don't ever think it will be permanent to feel how you're feeling now. Things will change for the better , you will become wiser as you age and one day you will remember this post maybe and smile and think how silly you were to think you're not just as important as anyone else.
I have a daughter and I would give her the very same advice ...if anything I say helps then that will make me happy. But don't give up in yourself, we've all been there and it gets better trust me...
Good luck I hope you feel better soon , about yourself and realise how wonderful you truly are.
💝
ReplyPlease don't end anything. You're beautiful and special in your own way. Talk to your parents or a trusted adult about this, I'm sure they can help. If it makes you feel any better, I don't really have any friends either and I'm super quiet, so I can relate. Peace ❤
ReplyPlease talk to someone your last sentence concerns me. Is there a doctor you trust? Would you go for counciling?
Reply