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I grew up youngest of five siblings.I took great pride in my upbringing for a long time.Got raised in a family where support was unconditional.My mother particularly was as solid as steel.We went through crisis after crisis as a family and emerged through it all feeling more strong.Financial hurdles, societal judgements, health, careers everything was dealt with great optimism and strength.
But lately I've been feeling very helpless and hopeless about it all.Siblings started to get married and unfortunately some of the decisions weren't their best.Mistakes made but still we stood together but I have reached a breaking point seeing everyone going through living hell.Siblings in decade long verbally, physically abusive marriages , where they don't even want to help themselves . Children lives getting ruined, yet nobody is doing anything. My parents constantly getting insulted by their children spouses and the effect has started to show in their health. Listening to them is so mentally exhausting and emotionally draining that at the end of the conversation I start to wonder what is the meaning of this life. Life for me wasn't easy to begin with but I've always looked at the greener side ,always marched on ,blessed with great career and husband but my heart bleeds thinking about my parents and my sibling.All day, everyday.I question the existence of everything. I question the notion of familial ties. Going home puts me in the worst cycles of depression. I've tried to reason with myself that i shouldn't care about them anymore ,they're adults and responsible for their actions but I can't help but keep thinking about my parents and how much they're suffering.Of all the things we've faced , these snide remarks,insults and constant bickering seems like worst of them.
I wake up everyday in hope of a silver lining and everyday there are only dark clouds.
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Concentrate on your own life ? Youll be happier :))
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