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Im so tired of people hurting me. I just want to be happy again but it is so much easier to listen to the little voice in my head telling me I should just go to sleep and never wake up. Im tired of thinking about the people who hurt me. my own sister dosent love me anymore. she cares more about her friends then me. I know she does. I keep thinking of all of the things that have gone wrong in the past few weeks. I keep thinking about the young one in the casket and about how ive never seen her without eyeliner on. they still dont know what happened. I think about all of the friends who dont talk to me anymore. The friend who called me sister but hasent spoken to me in a week. The friend who ran of and ignores me now. All the friends who dont reply anymore. I keep thinking about all the people who are moving on with their lives but im here sat in the past thinking about all the things going wrong with my life. Im running out of reasons to wake up each day and i dont want that list to run out.... I dont want to see that list run out. I dont want to die but i am so tired of living with so much pain in me. I just want to be happy again. I just want to live my life but i dont think I have a life to live anymore.
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It is never bad to think about your friends, even if they don't love you, but never let that block your progress in life, you can still do both, care about your friends, and at the same time care about yourself.
Regarding the list, you own that list, you can empty it and you can fill it. Why don't you overload it with things that can make you grow in love and knowledge? Why don't you put some high targets to yourself and work hard to get them? It's up to you to be happy.
I really know how hard it gets, you see, I've been there, we all were there, but most of us got away, stronger, braver. Believe in yourself, be sure that you are priceless, you are one of a kind, you are mostly a Human, you are created with the image of God!
I hope you will find the true way to happiness, but personally, I believe in you and I am sure deep inside that you will prove everyone wrong and reach the best you can be.
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