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There’s a lot to say. I don’t know how to say and I don’t know where to begin. I know I should be sorry but I’m not. I don’t know if that makes me selfish. I’ve been carrying the burden of anxiety and depression from 2016. Depression in my view is a lot easier because I can just sit in the darkness and allow it to consume me. I can sit still and do nothing. Just be nothing. Anxiety is what torments me, I’ve lived with anxiety for most of my life. Every living waking, breathing, walking, sleeping moment I am anxious. I go to sleep in anxiety, I wake up in it. I am overwhelmed all the time, I am suffocated all the time, I am behind a wall of my own mental struggles all the time. There are many reason to die, too many as there are too many problems to be pointing out and say this is why I did it. There’s no single problem, there never was. You cant feel what I feel, you cant experience what I experience. You can only hear and know and feel pity. Maybe I should’ve been more open, maybe I should’ve gotten help. But what help is there when my own anxiety doesn’t allow me to speak. I am anxious as I type this. I cannot breathe as I type this. I don’t want to be like this. I am tormented. I am being tormented. I am my own torment.
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Hi, I struggle with depression and anxiety too. I totally get what you say! Right now my heart is pumping too!
I hope you can find ways to talk with a trusted professional about your feelings. I know I went to a rape/domestic violence center to get some free therapy. I go to support groups too. I do lots of research and read books at my libraries to really understand things better. One thing I did was I became a certified massage thereapist. I learned to give soothing relaxing massages. It helped me to channel my energy into truly loving, positive ways. I took up exercise too to just clear my head. I'm in really great physical health, which is a nice feeling. I took up hobbies I liked. I tried to find fun low cost things to do; for example, I watch DVD movies I borrow from the library. For me I found it helpful to be with friends. I joined some clubs to meet people. I think everyone does it differently. I don't really use social media sites or email much, but others may find going to online help and online friend's useful.
In closing, I am so sorry you are going through so much. I know sometimes I take soothing bubble baths or go for walks. It's hopefully a journey as you explore your feelings that work for you. With love. ❤️
ReplyAnxiety happens when you are faced with something you don't think you can handle . Period. You know what things are making you tick. When you're getting overwhelmed get out of your head and get into your body. Wirkout like a motherfucker. Listen to other people talk.... Joe rogans podcasts are the shit. David goggins is an inspiration... You should read his book , can't hurt me.
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