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Hi guys .. I just stumbled on this site and I thought I’d give it a go .
This is my first story and it’s something that’s been bottled inside of me for approximately 5-6 months now ..
So for a little bit of a back story : I’m a teenager , the person involved in this is an ex friend of mine - let’s call him Josh for this story- (we have dated but it was for like a month and we barely spoke) and my best friend -let’s call her Amy- .
So in November,2018 / last year , It was a night after school .. about 8pm and I was lying on my bed just on my phone doing random things and I got a message off Josh randomly saying “wanna send nudes” ....
I was taken back by this since at that moment in my life I’d had no sort of relationship as more than a friend with Josh ... We hadn’t hugged , kissed , nothing .. and he was asking me for nudes . That should have been a red flag since he didn’t even say “hi” 😂 , but me being me didn’t see the red flag 🚩 I just thought it was weird .
I replied with “no, are you sure that text was meant for me lmao” obviously playing it off and displaying how I’d noticed it was weird ..
He replied straight away with “yeah it was meant for you , send me a pic of your 🐱” and I left him on seen .
For the next half an hour he was messaging me on Instagram, snap chat , Whatsapp , every single form of social media he had me on ..
And adventually it became too much and I gave in to the pressure .
Looking back it was ridiculous and I should have blocked him or reported him , however I’d never really been in a situation like that and had no idea what to do .
He screenshotted the image , I told him to delete it as as far as I’m aware he didn’t straight away .
I don’t know if he sent it to anyone or showed anyone , etc ..
I told my best friend Amy the next day at school and she was like “oh my gosh why would you do that ? Have you told anyone ?” And I said “no”
Me and my mom are quite close but I was too embarrassed to even tell my mom .
Anyway , a short while goes by and nothing happens to do with me and that image .. until in December it turns out that the teachers had to search Josh’s iPad for something and found that picture of my 🐱 in his deleted file ..
It didn’t have my face or anything in the picture but it did have my old Instagram username .. and Josh had told them that it was me .
When asked , I lied to the school and my mom , saying that “I was pressured in to it and so I sent him an image off a porn site rather than my own vagina but I made him think it was mine so he’d leave me alone “
It was a very good lie and every one believed it .. but living with knowing that I sent a photo of myself .. and even though it was of me it was out of my control was honestly eating me up inside .
They deleted the photo off Joshs iPad .. but knowing that he didn’t delete it has made me over worry and think “we’ll what if he did send it to somebody” .
3 months later , it’s March now .. and only 2 days ago I told my mom the truth , I have an anxiety disorder and I’d come to the conclusion that battling that idea on my own wasn’t healthy . Mom didn’t shout , she wasn’t angry .. she simply said “Just learn from it and please don’t do it again” , which I’d already learnt .
What I’m trying to say here is it may seem normal because everyone else is sending them , it may seem like you have to because the other person is pressuring you , and everyone seems to talk about how sending nudes is “bad” etc .. but no body talks about how had you feel yourself ..
I’m constantly thinking about that picture , constantly over worrying ..
And the picture was deleted off Joshs iPad 3 months ago ..
it’s worrying about the “what ifs” and “oh my gosh “ all the time ...
it gets exhausting.
And you’re too embarrassed to tell anyone .. even your closest family member or bestest friend ...
It’s just not worth it .
It’s not easy to say “no” ... but you have to be strong . Because once you hit “send” .. it’s out of your control.. even if it’s a disappearing message ... there’s a thing called a “screenshot” ...
And it honestly can ruin your life .
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ReplyDoes the picture have your face in it?
ReplyNo it doesn’t thank fully
ReplyNo thankfully it doesn’t
ReplyHey, I'd like to say thanks so much for posting this. I really appreciate reading this since I've been through something similar...the regret, the overthinking/worry and the mixed emotions you experience in the aftermath of sending a nude/nudes is overwhelming. It's really scary. Even for me, I sometimes still think about the mistake I did and how stupid I was but well, who hasn't lamented over their mistakes in the past?
Now that I've read your post, I feel that it's an appropriate reminder to me, as well as all young girls and women, that you should always always think twice before sending nudes or don't send any at all in my opinion. Because unless you're very sure about what you're doing, it's going to come back to haunt you one way or another.
ReplyI One hundred percent agree , thank you for the positive feedback lovely 💓
ReplyIt haunts and that is the worst feeling. It scares me. But I'm out of it. I don't do any of that shit.
Ive learnt being careful is necessary
ReplyDefinitely
ReplyYeah. You seem to understand me. Thanks:)
ReplyI never have.
ReplyGood , I wouldn’t advise it it’s not a nice feeling x
ReplyWell... This has happened to me. And It is a big thing. It's not normal and I know it haunts you. It haunts me all the time. But it's your past. It doesn't have your face so it's fine. Just avoid thinking about it and don't let it mess up with your head. Take care of yourself.
If you wanna talk.. I'm here. We're on the same page so no judging.
Smile:)
ReplyThank you so much lovely 💓
ReplyDont thank me dear.
Just let me know if you need a friend to talk to. I'll be here.
ReplySure , but how can I contact you there’s not a message thing on here x
ReplyYou have email? Or google hangouts?
They are safe places.
For both my ID says
Minionlovee9@gmail.com
(its an ID I xreated whrn I was 10.excuse me.)
ReplyOk :) x
ReplyWhat okay
ReplyHey, can I talk to you? I need someone.
ReplyOf course
ReplyHey, can you talk ?
ReplyI haven’t been active in a while my apologies. I’m more than open x
Replydude, i kinda got in a related situation once, this guy i literally just met asked for nudes and he wouldn't stop trying to convince me why i should. he said some shit about 'not having self-confidence' and i almost gave in until that. i was laughing it off and eventually blocked him, but i felt so embarrassed and angry just for being asked and considering it. keep your head up, lady. thanks for sharing :)
ReplyPeople are sick these days , they don’t know when to stop . Thank you for sharing your experience lovely x
ReplyI hope you're better now. Thank you so much for sharing this. 💕💕
ReplyJust know that it’s your choice wether you see these people again once you graduate. That’s in your control. So don’t feel too unpowerless. Keep your head held high! And don’t let this get you down so much. you are human and sadly, humans make lots of mistakes. It’s in our nature I believe. 😋
ReplyThis is the first time I’ve actually heard someone with basically the same story as me and it really helps to know that there are people who can relate.
A few years back when I had Instagram I went on Omegle for fun and I wasn’t planning on doing anything or giving my contacts out or anything but I stumbled across this guy that was really nice so I gave him my Insta, bad move. We were texting on Insta and he kept going on about how his friends had seen 🐱 and he wanted to and he was just asking and asking for pictures. Everytime I denied, (btw I had only learnt about sex and had no idea what I was getting myself into) but he just kept asking and started to pressure me so I sent a pic of me wearing my crop top but I was so embarrassed cause I was just a kid. After u sent that I immediately deleted it but little did I know, he had saved it and he started forcing me to send more and he started blackmailing me by saying “If you don’t send me for photos I’ll send them to all you followers and your parents” and like thinking back, he wouldn’t do that, cause my followers (mainly my friends and family) would definitely question him and put him in jail and shit but I WAS A KID, I had no idea what could happen. The situation progressed and I sent more pictures but then I just got sick of it and it was really affecting my mental health, like I would start crying if I saw a text message from him because I was just so scared. I told my mum and we were both crying and we decided to delete all my accounts and stay away from Instagram, my dad doesn’t even know I sent those photos. When my friends asked why I deleted my Insta account I just said “some rando was asking for pics and was being annoying so I found one of google” and it actually worked. It’s been like 3 years? Idk a long time and I’ve gotten over it but I still feel guilty about it even though I know it wasn’t my fault.
Also, before I got rid of my accounts, I had made countless attempts to just block him but he would make more accounts, he probably made over 5 to to and get more photos out of me and like that’s just low. I don’t want to give away to many personal details but I was around 10, probably 11 and he “said” he was 15. If he was telling the truth he is now an adult and I’m still a minor so he could go to jail, like I legit know his name.
Anyway, it was really nice to read ur story and relate and also rant about the dumbass piece of shit who asked me for pictures :)
ReplyYou’re so brave ! Thank you for sharing xx
ReplyHow do I get rid of this haunting? I shared it with strangers. Nobody took screenshots except one d*ckhead(i was in my bra in the pic). But the feeling still haunts me. I only realised what I had done 2 months ago and it’s been tough since then. I was going through a breakup and I was sharing nudes online to cope with the pain. None of them had my face or my real name but still I feel bad about sharing them. Not a day goes by when I don’t think of this. It has sucked the joy out of everything. I want to be normal again. I have talked about it with my mom and my close friends. But still I am not able to let it go. The feeling of shame and regret has been haunting me since two months. It feels like I am losing myself. What should I do?
Reply