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I have a very complicated relationship with my sister. She's manipulative, especially towards me and was kind of my only childhood bully. Right now I'm temporarily living with her until I find my own place since she lives closer to my college than my parents. From the moment I moved in, she's jumped down my throat about every tiny thing. I was in the house for 3 days and she was already riding me about all the dishes in the sink. I hadn't even eaten in her house yet. My dog threw up in her shoe while I was at work and she left it there until I came home almost 5 hours later and then was mad when I told her it was too late to save the shoe. I walk in the door and she tells me I'm being too loud. She constantly complains about how she doesn't have any money and can barely pay bills or buy groceries. I have been single-handedly caring for her dog. She's been having back issues and uses it an excuse for everything from not being able to walk her dog to being cranky 24-7. She never misses the chance to tell me that it's her apartment and she's doing me a favor and I'm disrespectful to her every day. I'm at my breaking point. She's so broke, she's offering me to take over her lease so she can go find something cheaper, but she's in no rush to leave. I want out but if I move out, she's screwed. She can't afford to live alone and I'll just royally screw her over if I leave. But living with her is like going back to high school. I don't want to go home half the time because I know she'll be there and when I am there, I hide in my room. She's so emotionally draining I don't know if I'll survive even another month. I don't want to cause any more drama in my family than I already have with this whole situation and how do I just screw over family like that? I'm stuck with her forever but I'm just at a point in my life where she's just dragging me down. I'm not trying to be dramatic or malicious, I just want out without hurting any feelings.
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Hello fellow human,
Your story sounds a lot like mine, I have a sister that treated me badly too, she used to bully and especially blackmail me when we we younger. She also used to scare me, and because of her I still get scared of the dark sometimes (I am 27 now)
Growing up she was still my best friend and I looked up to her, she was my older sister after all, I used to take her advice without thinking or questioning it (she is my bigger sister after all and always has my best interests at heart) That is what I thought at least.
She was there for me when people picked on me in school, even when teachers treated me badly or unfairly she would talk to them. She was my protector and I loved her dearly.
I never really saw how manipulative she can be, she was there for me, but there would always be conditions. She would belittle me and talk down on me all the time. She was also never happy for me when I achieved something.
When I had my first long term boyfriend I found out that she and him have been cheating on me behind my back from a roomate of hers. I ended things with him and also with her, things were never the same after that. I started seeing through her and realised how she always uses me to her advantage.
I felt so betrayed after I found out what she did behind my back, my own sister didn't think twice stabbing me in the back.
I have told her how I feel and gave her the opportunity to apologise, but she didn't take that opportunity and I have not spoken to her since. I have more peace of mind now that she is out of my life. You can take the horse to water, but you cannot force it to drink.
I don't have any friends, recently moved to another country, and I am pretty much a loner if it wasn't for my husband.
I am a very empathetic person, with strong emotions, I am kind and give many chances, but there comes a time when you need to decide what your peace of mind is worth. Are you willing to sacrifice your own happiness for a person who doesn't deserve it? I live by this quote: Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy. It is time to think about yourself.
I wish you peace of mind, and sincerely hope that you make the right choice for yourself moving forward.
Feel free to chat to me if you need any support, I am here :-)
Warm Regards,
C
ReplyIts going to hurt someone either way. She will have to find someone else to live with, or you will suffer in her reign. I've lived with my sister and it also went sour. The moment our lease ended, I basically ran home to mama with my backpack and didn't look back. Years later, we are better off and I'm glad I didnt stay. It would've ruined our relationship.
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