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Okay so, i’m desperate for some advice because i really dont know what to do anymore. So there’s this guy that i really like. And he’s going through a pause in his relationship. And i really really like him. But he told me that he needed to keep some distance from me and his “girlfriend”? To make the right decision. So i told him i felt really hurt and rejected for being only an option instead of even a choice. And i just dont know what to do anymore. I mean i know exactly what i should do, what every normal person would do. Leave and move on. But i just cant... i’ve never had sooo much in common with a person as i do with him. But he sometimes pushes me aside or ignore me for several days. And than apologize when he’s alone and maybe bored, maybe missing me a little. I’m just really hurt and judging by my relationshiphistory, you’d think i learned my lesson and put myself first. But i’m starting to realize that i have very little selfrespect and i’m just desperately for someone. I feel so stupid, like i should know better and stop putting myself in impossible situations where im gonna end up hurt. Please someone give me advice.
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Well..."love means never having to say you're sorry", Love Story, 1970. (yes, I'm old!) been in a relationship since 1976, still married.
Alright: if he's not willing to commit, then neither should you. Continued damage is not justified.
You are worth much more than that, much much more!
Love is precious, and should be respected.
Men, guys, are not taught to have relationships. Doesn't mean that they can't learn.
Have i got it right so far?
ReplyYes i know😞 thanks for your reply. I needed to hear something positive
ReplyGood, that's right.
ReplyLove and Ego
ReplyWell, there are two sides here. He's on "pause" in his relationship, which means he's probably not completely broken off from his girlfriend. But he also is distancing himself from her. And you.
The poor boy is probably trying to sort through his own feelings. Give him a little time, but don't forget to pursue your own desires in the meantime. Don't pine for him (unless you enjoy doing that?) and don't wait on him. If he's too late? His loss.
But don't forget to have compassion for what he might be going through.
And self-respect has nothing to do with desperation. Maybe a little, but you're a teenager and these feelings are normal.
ReplyAlright i get what you’re saying, and i am giving him his space and time. It’s just incredibly hard to do that when you want nothing more than to be with this person and wanting him to want me back as much. Btw im not a teenager. I’m 23. I can just feel that he’s most likely not going to choose for me and that i have to get out of this situation. And i actually did that last week. I told him i couldn’t do it anymore after i realized he was ignoring me. And he didn’t respond to it anymore for several days. Than he kept calling me and wanting to talk in person. So we did and he explained why he ignored me and that he still wanted to hang out. I feel like i should’ve never answered his calls anymore and moved on because that was my chance, i was already doing a little better. I kind of feel like he was selfish to keep contacting me again and pull me back into this shit... he should have just let me go....
ReplyThat's selfish of him, but you also didn't have to see him in person if you really didn't want to. Humans are inherently selfish, though, so it's understandable.
But if you're determined to move on, I think you could do it in a way where you can still see him but also move on with your life, as well.
(And sorry for the age assumption, I shouldn't have said that. It was wrong of me.)
ReplyI completely relate and love is the hardest thing...I don't really have advice for you because it hasn't exactly worked too well for me, so...I'm hopeful everything turns out. I feel the same as you about this.
ReplyLove is absolutely the hardest thing... and i always feel that it might get easier saying goodbye to someone the next time but it never does.. i’m afraid things are not gonna work out in my favor. But i’ll just have to take some time for myself aswell to think about wether i even want to be in this position anymore. Because now it’s hurting me more than it’s bringing me anything else
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