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They arent just thoughts anymore. They are plans, things I'm going to do to myself. I've fallen back into my empty hole and my depression has swallowed me. I dont want to live anymore. I mean I do, but when I think about my future, its blank. There is no future for me. I think about cutting myself, sometimes I think about cutting myself so deep, no one will be able to fix it and I wont have to be me anymore. Sometimes I think about living, running through a meadow with the love of my life. But then theres another girl, hes holding her hand because I'm not enough. Why arent I enough? Hes enough for me but I will never fully satisfy him. Then I think that I will never fully be enough for anyone.
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Lighthouse
I sit there on top of lighthouse, high above. It was a warm but windy night. My skin blended right into the blue-black sky of the starry night. The diamonds up...
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Dear Me,
there are many things i have been meaning to tell you. i've been wanting to say these things for a long time and now I finally have the mindset for it. you...
Carrying on with life when you're happy is easy. You are carrying on with depression, something i know from my own experience is horrifically hard. You know what that makes you? A strong person. You're dealing with some of the worst feelings that can be thrown at you, and you are still here. That makes you a badass as far as I'm concerned.
And as a man i can tell you I would take someone like you by my side than a hundred happy go lucky types who've never had a hard day in their life. If the person you want to be with cannot see your quality then that's their failing, not yours.
ReplyThanks. Good to know that. You're a good person.
ReplyI look ahead and I see a great future of unknown...I'm 15 and I overdosed when I was 13...I know it sucks and I know I'm young but I know a greater hurt and struggle than many who are much older. It seems dark and bleek, empty even, but there is something waiting for you and it is not something up above. It's something here, you just have to hold on long enough to find it, and when you do, you will know it was worth it...
ReplyI'm so sorry you have had to go through what you have at such a young age. My son is the same age as you, and the thought of him hurting so much break's my heart. I hope your life continues to improve and that you live a long and happy life. That you are trying to help other people shows how lucky the world is that you're still here.
ReplyThank you so much...you probly don't realize how much those words really mean to someone with my mind..It means alot
ReplyOh girl. Don’t think that way u r special and perfect ❤️ If he does not realis that he is blind. There r plenty or fish in the sea but go ahead and look for those hunky fisher man 😂 they don’t like u it is there problem u perfect
-Soph
ReplyI feel this way. It's not just you. And when I'm okay I feel sexy and beautiful but when I'm not it's hard. Please know that even in your lowest he still sees you as everything. If he doesn't there is absolutely someone who will
Reply