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I asked her if I could see her because I needed a hug and she always gave the best hugs. I thought it would help me get through my day just a little easier, but, it did nothing but make it worse. When she pulled up my heart started racing, my
Breath was getting short, my
Mind was telling me to walk up and kiss you and tell you I love you. I wanted to say I’m sorry for everything how can we make this work. After she pulled up and we started to talk a little I realized that she isn’t the same girl I once knew, she wasn’t the person I fell in love with, she wasn’t the person she said she was. I hugged her after a bit because it’s what I thought my heart has been yearning for, but, when we hugged it felt different, she felt different. I felt almost nothing to the point I almost bursted in tears because I think I’m losing the love I had for her and it’s now worse than ever. When she wrapped her arms around me she didn’t squeeze, she didn’t lay her head on my chest like she used to, she didn’t breath heavily like she used to. I don’t know what I was supposed to do, I wanted to lean down and kiss her to feel that spark again, I wanted to feel those butterflies she always gave me. I felt as if I was holding a stranger, it gave me so much uncertainty. The girl I loved, the girl I fought for holding me right now isn’t here. It’s almost like she wasn’t who she really was and it still breaks my heart to think that she was tryin to be someone she’s not just to be with me then everything changed when she realized that’s not who she is. I’m now content with what has happened, what might happen and what won’t happen. After that I don’t believe that we were meant to be, I don’t believe that we will get back together, but, I don’t want to lose her as a friend, her family as mine. I still love her I know I do, I just feel like she doesn’t love me anymore. I’m in a point now where I need to focus on my own self and my own personality. I’ve finally found my own self worth, now I need to find what I can motivate myself with and what my real potential is. I’m heartbroken but at the same time I’m okay, I glued the pieces back together myself and now I’m going to sew them. I don’t need a girl, I don’t need a wife, I need someone who will put into a friendship or something as much as i am willing to. I’m finally at peace as to what has happened and is going to happen, I’ve never been in a better state of mind today than I have been in my life. I don’t date to date, I date to find my wife, my soul mate, the other half to my heart. Hopefully one day she will come along and not walk past me.
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ReplyIt sounded very heart felt. Good luck on your journey.
Reply