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Maybe I have found the next step? I think I need to desensitize myself to the terminology I need to express myself. Because although I can think most these things in my head a million times, hearing them out loud, not to mention speaking them out loud, is like pulling a blade out. All the sudden things feel dangerous, tense, cautious, and threatening. I'm only recently starting to talk about these things with some trusted people, and it's difficult. How am I supposed to eventually get what I need if I can't talk about what I need? I'm working on it now. Another thing, I've realized more and more lately is that I think I low-key have trust issues and feel paranoid about opening up to people. I guess it's a good thing that I'm cautious, but I'm working on testing those limits now -Z
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