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I’ve always been the positive person in any group and still do wear the “positivity mask”.. a couple of months ago I started feeling hopeless.. I have so many goals I want to achieve but everything is in my way..I live on my own taking care of 3 younger siblings. I have to stay positive and strong to be able to be a good inspiration to them. I avoid all my negative thoughts and have been ignoring any sadness until I reached a point now where I cannot do it anymore. It’s so hard to avoid my negative energy now! It sucks because I feel so weak. I hate this feeling.. I can’t stop feeling hopeless
I never hated more than people wishing to die I’ve always thought it’s stupid to think like that because it’s selfish.. I know how it feels to people now! It’s not that I’m suicidal, I just wish to day. I want it to end. I’m not okay.
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Its okay. You are really a strong person to take care of so many things. When life hits back at you multiple times, it can be really stressful. But don't give up hope and your wishes. That is all that makes our life, the people we love, what we want to do and how we end up doing the things we want. Hope you find your strength soon.
ReplyTry and remember that you are human. Your siblings won't hate you if you breakdown a little. In fact I think its healthy to see your role models being human, facing difficulties, breaking down and getting back up again. For one it will give them a chance to help you, this will give them the joy only helping someone can give a person. It will make them better people. Also when they grow up, they will face their own fair share of difficulties.. its important for you to show them how to deal with difficult situations so that they don't feel compelled to pretend to be fine when they aren't. So don't make them the reason to wear this mask!
On a personal note.. you need to not pretend to be happy. Its okay to just hate life and cry sometimes. And after that you will feel so much better! You will be able to accomplish everything you want. Just take it one goal at a time. Don't spread yourself too thin. If you don't take care of yourself, how will you take care of the people you love?
It's okay if you aren't okay right now, because you will be okay later.
ReplyLook up signs of being an empath. You sound like a burned out empath. It will be ok, you just have to learn self protection and boundary techniques.
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