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Everyone thinks I’m older than I am
The guessing game of age
As if it defines who I am
“wow you seem way older”
“I never would have guessed”
especially considering the size of your chest
7, 9, 14, and it goes on
All of those ages
In the past
Gone.
You won’t see those ages ever again
So cherish when you have it
Because I skipped mine
So others could have it
Why would I skip all the playgrounds and fireflies
But wouldn’t you do the same
If it meant helping save a life
During the day it’s all fine
It's all good
I have my perfected smile and laughter and perfected words
Then night falls and out comes all my feelings
The tears the thoughts and all of my demons
Quietly screaming in the bathroom all alone
But the only thing going through your head
is that no one can know
When there's no more tears left to cry
And im done wiping my face dry
I walk out the bathroom
With the same fake smile back on my face
As if nothing ever happened
I’m not allowed to have a dark place
I start walking to my room
Passing my parents
No words were said
No gazes were swapped
Complete total emptiness
As we continue to walk
Midnight comes and we all hear her again
My parents go to her room
While I get the butterfly stiches
There were tears and blood
But no surprise
The only tears running was down her eyes
My parents hold her distract her from the pain
While my job was to hide the razor again
At 11 I'm there holding her hand
telling her its fine
The same old words again and again
I held her bandage
Making sure she doesn’t bleed out
I have her blood all over me
I’m use to it though so I don’t freak out
But don’t forget I may be 11
But my age doesn’t matter
When my sisters life is in question
As I walk into 6th grade the very next day
As if nothing ever happened
I still have to go on with a smile on my face
I was always the quite one
And of course I got bullied
But it’s fine
I’ll just add it to the bottle
that hides all of my emotions
After school comes
I prepare myself to walk through the door
First thing I see is my parents sitting
Waiting for the storm
There’s no “hello”
“how was your day”
But once again its fine
I don’t expect it anymore anyways
My sister gets home and walks Stright to her room
The night is starting
And what’s now a routine continues.
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