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As each year passes, I feel more and more distant from this world, I honestly hate How much society has changed and how we all live a fake life, sure it is great to be able to connect to people from all over the world but I enjoyed the simple life without Internet and social media and technology.
I can't be in relationships when the person spends too much time on their phone scrolling mindlessly through social media, I just want to spend time with the person and have a conversation. But as I have been single and alone for quite some years now I feel I have lost the art of conversation.
I hate small talk yet I am the worse for it, so I just chose to stay quiet and not talk at all.
A other birthday has just passed, spent it on my own, my parents went away for the weekend and I was just home alone, I went to the shop and bought some alcohol so I could get a little drunk, didn't work... I asked a girl out to see if she wanted to meet up, I got no reply so I totally regretted that! it was also very hard to even have the courage to do so in the first place as I am so shy.
I have quite a big family, older brother and 2 older sisters, each with there own family now, many kids and new borns on the way, happy relationships.
I'm still at home with my parents with no one
I honestly shouldn't be with someone, you could say that I chose to be alone because I don't want to get attached to someone and hurt them, like I have in the past. I am the problem, and every year I hope to change, I make new plans, take on new challenges but I am still the same, I am still empty inside, friends fading away, and I feel even more distant from my family though I live with them but just have nothing in common with them.
I am new here, and there is just so much more to say, I didn't even know where to begin, none of this may make any sense but I do hope someone out there may understand me.
If you read this far, Thank you :).
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