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Why should I bother with managing anything these days? I have constantly been told indirectly by others, that I am too stupid and slow. Treated as though I am inadequate to function properly and unable to perform anything correctly. More and more I have been beginning to believe what everyone else was saying about me, and saw how they treated me differently. They all behaved as though I am slow and I don't even know why. I got paranoid that I had to ask for some kind of reassurance from my friends and family. Asking them if I seemed like someone with an intellectual disability or intellectual disorder. Had to ask my mother about my childhood, if I had any issues and the answer was no.
Asked more questions, if the doctor might of said anything about my mental development as a toddler.
I do not believe I have any form of intellectual disabilities when it came to socializing and school. I had gone through alot at home at a very young age and I'm still dealing with many struggles in my life. I know it influenced alot with my school, but generally I was okay in the beginning until things changed as I got older.
I'm constantly doubting myself and my capabilities. I haven't managed to break through many of my issues,now as an adult and it is becoming a problem. It is embarassing to be struggling as an adult. You would expect that many things you would have overcomed and moved passed that. Alot is stopping me from pursuing and trying out any new hobbies, interests and opportunities. Always having thoughts of not being good enough and my self-esteem is low. I never gotten the chance to manage and cope with my issues back when I was younger... I am paying for it greatly now and suffering because of that...
I take it that it would make me seem stupid and someone who isn't smart enough...
Maybe, I am in denial and the reality is that there is something wrong with my Intellect...
I really don't know anymore.
Regardless, I still hate myself if I am stupid.
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You're obviously not stupid, as you can write well. And anyone who is cruel enough to call you that, it's because of their own personal issues...not yours. So maybe that's why you took that on.
I can identify with what you're saying though. My mother always did everything for us, like making calls and appointments and always speaking for us. Plus as an adult, I feel I have hardly any skills at all. My parents didn't teach us normal stuff, like how to plant a garden and so much more.
I feel for you, and truly hope you don't really hate yourself. You're NOT stupid. You're amazing, my friend.
ReplyYou're misinterpreting what I'm saying here in my letter. You got it all wrong and thinking you can relate to me, uhh no.
It has nothing to do with the lack of skills, I have some skills and my parents don't do everything for me as an adult.
I actually know how to garden a little and plant flowers, even grow them. My parents did teach us to do some normal stuff and can carry tasks on my own. You and I aren't the same in this case. I really don't understand how you got the impression otherwise.
Anyways, you missed the point completely in my letter. You don't know me at all to be saying anything.
We're not friends.
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