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I am 32 years old working lady. A very senior colleague of 53 years of age has been chatting with me regularly for quite some time now. Initially it was simple friendly chats which were regular but not long ones. Slowly with time, the chats became regular. I used to enjoy chatting with him. I am sure he too enjoyed it as the chats were funny and simple ones.
With a year passing by, I noticed that our chats were not only regular, we talked for hours late night. He even called me regularly and we simply had light weight conversations. Here I will mention that he is not only quite older to me but also married with a kid. Astonishing thing I always noticed was, he never discussed his wife or marriage with me. During this year when our conversations were growing, his wife was away with their kid for some education purpose.
Not only our conversation grew, we started hanging out alone, at times lying to our common friends at office. It used to harmless meetings where we talked for hours and enjoyed each other's company. He ensured to drop me home whenever we met. Even in front of other colleagues he maintained that he dropped me. He complimented me every now and then.
Few days back his wife returned back with their kid. I started feeling the change in our friendship. Now he avoided late night chats or avoided chatting at home. But he ensured to call me in between work whenever he is free. I realised he was avoiding any chat or conversation at home in order to keep it away from his wife. Even now he avoided talking about his wife to me. Inspite of all this our friendly meetings continued. He managed atleast one/ two days in a week to meet up. Now I noticed that he has been touching me at every chance. Holding my hand while he is driving, or putting his arms around while sitting or kissing me on the cheek. Initially I felt awkward but since I liked his company I let it continue.
During one such outing, he kissed me on the lip and I reacted saying that he shouldn't do such a thing. He felt awkward by my reaction but later on apologized and told me that it was simply expression of his emotions that he felt that very moment. He also messaged me that night saying he just loves me and nothing else. This was the first time he was saying such a thing. From then on many times he has sneaked kisses or hugged me.
After this day, in our next meeting our proximity increased. I liked the intimacy though but I questioned him if it is love or infatuation. He immediately thought over and said its not infatuation. He said, he has always thought of love but it never happened to him in earlier years...but see even if its soo late yet it has happened to him now. He told this many times surprised that sometimes we never know when such feelings develop and that to at such an unexpected time of life. That day he kissed me again and this time I reciprocated to his kiss. Though it is not so that I am in love with him yet I felt good after kissing him.
After a week one day I realised whatever we are doing is wrong and I should stop meeting him alone. I messaged him so but he kept pleading that I shouldn't stop meeting him and promised me that he wont touch me. But I did not agree to that.
Next that he told me he couldn't sleep whole night because of such a sudden reaction from me. I too felt the urge to meet him that day and so met him that day. We hanged out again and questioned him is he happily married? He replied yes he is. This surprised me. Then I asked him how long has he been married. He replied 21 years. I asked him, then why are you betraying her. He did not have a ready answer. He though and said, he knows this is socially wrong but simply kissing and hugging is harmless..he too confessed that he has never given a deep thought to all this and doesnt have any answer to my questions. I liked this honesty. He also added that he doesnt want to give false hopes to me as I am quite young and have the whole life in front of me.
I want to understand if he is in love or its simply infatuation and will pass off with time.
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Curious. Why does it matter if is love or infatuation?
ReplyThis is a very difficult situation. But i would like to answer your question from another perspective. I think it does not matter if its love or infatuation. Try to keep away from him because as he said he's happily married. And you have your whole life ahead yet. It will not be easy to keep away. You will eventually feel the urge to give in. But trust me this is not what you want. You don't want to break someone's marriage and trust. Imagine his wife finding out about this. Would she be okay with it? No.
Please try to keep away from him. If possible, don't even talk to him. Because you may give in to your feelings by talking to him. I wish you all the luck
ReplyInfatuation. Bad situation you are getting into there. Stay away.
ReplyOne day someone will appreciate ALL of you and give you there ALL. U should Never EVER feel like u have to come second in anyone’s life. F*#* him baby girl there are way more handsome fishies in the sea just for you! :)
Reply