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This is a letter to myself cause I need to talk to you. Things didn't really go so well in your life...or at least that's what you make of it. If you look at it from the outside you could think you're quite blessed.
You live in a nice house...but it's not yours, it's your parents house. You still live there because you started a second apprenticeship and can't afford an own apartment. You got many fancy things you wanted to have, a way to expensive car, a phone, PC, TV...everything many dream of having but yet...most of the things you're proud of aren't even yours because you didn't pay for them.
What have you achieved in your life? You finished school and will finish an apprenticeship you never liked. Great. You'll start a new one you actually like but you won't make much money of it. You want money though, you want to be able to life a live like your parent, you want to be able to buy everything you want to, you want to go on holidays far away, you want to have a family and offer them financial support. But you won't have that with the job you'll be getting..so you need to study, you're afraid of the future, what if you're too stupid to study anything useful, what are you gonna study, when, will this be too late, will you get a job you like after that?
You only had one relationship yet. Most people will have 20 at you're age. But this one counted for you, it really mattered...but it failed like so many things you try, right? And now you're only friend is your ex girlfriend that you still love, but can't tell her. Well that's horrible. Why to care so much about past things, about the future...shouldn't you try to stay in the present for once?
I probably should but I don't know how.
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