I want to die :)

Take me to the rooftop I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turning blue Tell me love is endless, don't be so pretentious Leave me like you do If you need me, wanna see me Better hurry 'cause I'm leaving soon Sorry can't save me now Sorry I don't know how Sorry there's no way out (sorry) But down Hmm, down Taste me, these salty tears on my cheeks That's what a year-long headache does to you I'm not okay, I feel so scattered Don't say I'm all that matters Leave me, déjà vu If you need me, wanna see me You better hurry, I'm leaving soon Sorry can't save me now (sorry) Sorry I don't know how (sorry) Sorry there's no way out (sorry) But down Hmm, down Call my friends and tell them that I love them And I'll miss them But I'm not sorry Call my friends and tell them that I love them And I'll miss them Sorry.....

So this is a song by Billie Eilish that touched me so hard. I really want that song be written on my epitaph. Also I don't want my funeral to be sad. I don't want that people pray or cry for me. I just hope to have a funeral like foreign countries. Most accurately, like those Christian peoples. I sang that song for my funeral. I hope people play it. I really want to die so bad. I'm really being a mess now a days. Also I want to die by suicide. I don't have the courage to tell that anyone. Because I'm from a Muslim family. Though I choosed to be an atheist. In my country people hates atheism. They thinks atheists are enemy of them and they need to kill them.