Going Through a Lot

After coming home from college every semester, it feels like everything's different. Nothing's ever the same, and I just wish things would get back to how they use to be. I can be totally okay when I'm at school, or at least MOSTLY okay, and when I get home everything has a negative impact on me. Im so much more reserved, I feel like I can't be myself. I have a lot of friends, but I don't feel like I can talk to any of them about real stuff. I think they either don't know how to respond or I feel like I'm bothering them. Once I start talking to someone less often then usual, I naturally begin to believe we're not as close as we use to be, and refrain from being as comfortable as I usually was with them. No one understands me and I sometimes don't understand myself. I'm a Christian and have a great relationship with God, but I sometimes feel like I wish I had someone whose in front of me who I can talk to. Maybe I'm not realizing that's my very problem :( There is no one whose going to be my listening ear, shoulder to cry on, hand to hold, 100% support system. No one person is meant to be, God is. I want to feel like I'm not so alone. I don't want to hear that I'm not alone, I want to feel like I'm not.