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You know those things that people say only for formality?
Phrases like, “I don’t meant to offend” or “I didn’t want to say this”, then proceeds to offend and/or to say respectively.
These particular instances only prove to act as formalities towards enacting or implicating a particular scenario. However, when does the act of formality end or still in line with the context of one uses? Do you spend great lengths on trying to cushion the blow before you beat the living shit out of the person you are about to talk to?
Spending time, nurturing. Spending time, developing. Spending time, connecting.
With what? False capacities and wrong assumptions?
The whispers and the chants that was once quiet was finally heard loud and clear. The throbbing of one’s heart. The tingling sensation of the tip of my finger, waiting for you to reply back. The eagle-eyed stance I gawk at my phone, waiting for a moment’s notice trying to know more and to make you happy.
Little did I know, this was all cushion.
A soft and subtle cushion trying to cut off my mind and heart. To let them rest, to let them sleep easy, to let them once again think of happiness in the form of you.
This is only a façade.
The cushion wasn’t there to make you comfortable. It was there to give the impression that what will happen in the future, you were warned. These words that were supposed to calm me down were only words that acted as anesthesia, to numb my heart.
For the inevitable, “I think of you as a friend.”
But nevertheless, I didn’t mean to offend you.
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It was all a cushion huh?
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