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I'm a horrible friend. That's it that's all I have to say.
Not really.
I'm what you'd call, emotionally unstable at times. Although, I'm not allowed to show that since I'm supposed to be the strong one in my group of friends. But, it's hard you know? Giving people advice on life, dating. I haven't dated anyone yet, why am I doing this?! I'm not qualified to give someone advice on dating, I only give what I know based off books and tv shows! It's not fair. I'm jealous of almost all my friends yet I can't be. I'm the most selfless person they know, or so they've told me, yet I feel like the most selfish.
I wish I could turn back the clock, that this whole year could just loop back to the beginning. I'd know what to say, who to avoid, and how to act. But I can't! And it's infuriating! I flinch at the tiniest bit of touch unless it's by the correct people, I'm physically unable to hold myself back from crying whenever someone raises the voice in the slightest, and I feel like a piece of crap. I just want some love and attention.
I feel like I'm slowly turning gay for one of my best friends but she has a girlfriend already. It's wrong to feel attracted but I can't help it. It feels so damn wrong but it feels right at the same time! Idk what to think anymore. I've hurt and lost friends to many times for my mind to remember and it hurts.
I just want to feel love for once, from anyone...
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I've never been in the dating game before either, and I've not had many friends in my life, but I can say that you're not selfish for something that is out of your control. I'm sorry you feel this way for something like this that has happened to you. Stay strong, you're awesome!
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