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I just dont think we are good for each other. I tried to tell you that Sunday , I tried to break up, I tried to make you break up with me.. but it just seemed easier to keep going until the next fight, until the next heart break.
After all we live together, who is moving out, and what about that trip to New York in September, after all, we bought the ticket's, we got the visas. Everything is how it should be. We look good together, we look strong, we dont look like other couples. We dont take pictures or kiss in front of people or hold hands.
I always thought those things were childish and they dont matter if you have true love behind closed doors.
But what if its the same behind closed doors.
oh how i wish you took my hand and told me you loved me in front of everybody.
I know you are not great with emotions, especially romantic emotions. But you were before, you were 4 scratches on our hearts ago.
I hate you and I love you and Im too old to think both is possible at the same time.
Maybe its the idea of you that i love, maybe its our apartment and how i decorated it, maybe its all the trips I wouldnt go to if it werent for you.
Is love wearing off or did it ever exist?
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This is so relatable to me and beautifully written. I feel you.
ReplyThank you, I haven't written in a very long time. I would write when I'm either feeling loved or broken, for the past two years its been more of the latter, unfortunately.
I hope you find the strength for better things :)
ReplyI am the same. It’s a shame that our writing comes from only the harder places, but if it helps that’s what matters.
I hope you find strength too :)
ReplySorry, I meant more from darker places, not only X
Replylike reading my own thoughts.
ReplyHi. That is written well. It is very therapeutic to write. Keep it up. Most men have a hard time expressing emotions. It can be learned. We aren't raised to feel. If it wasn't modeled at home by the father, it will be a work in progress if he is willing to do the work. I learned to do it. I wanted to be a better man. It takes work. Relationships take work. Married 32 years to my best friend. I don't any other couple as close and intimate as ours. We talk about everything, And I mean everything. No topic is off the table. Open communication. Honesty, Respect. Humor. Got to have that too. And still, it is difficult. Relationships are never static. They/we are growing and changing. Neither one of us are the same people when we met 35 years ago. I can go on and on with this topic. Hope this helps.
Reply