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Dear *****,
You uplift me in ways I couldn’t ever explain. When you call me and message me my heart skips a beat just to see your name on my phone’s screen. I’ve loved the late night talks about the mysteries of the universe, or when you shared your dad’s blog with me and I got to read all the funny things you’d done as a kid. Every time you’ve gone on a trip this summer and we couldn’t talk I’d find myself missing you like crazy. First you went to visit your cousin, then you went camping, just recently you went to an activity with a local group. every time you came back I was so elated and happy, and our friendship continued as normal. But I’m terribly afraid. I’m so scared because this time it’s different. Why aren’t you calling me when you have a closing shift? Why don’t you call me on your ten minute drive to work? Why don’t you text me on your breaks? Why don’t you answer my messages? Why do I feel so completely heart broken? Do I care too much, or do you care too little?
I’m sorry to bother you with this insecurity but I can’t help myself. I know I shouldn’t have these feelings, they’re too complicated for our lives right now. But I can’t help it when my heart beats faster every time I hear your voice. I can’t help the lightness I feel in my chest when you laugh and I see your smile; especially when I’m the cause of it. I can’t change the fact that whenever I get to speak to you I feel instantly better. I’ve felt this before, and all it did was break my heart. I wonder, however, if because you’ve felt it too you got cold feet when you felt it again. Did you ever feel it for me? Did you get scared of being broken again that you decided to push me away? Darling, please don’t. I will never act on these feelings, I would rather be your friend and keep you than risk admitting my feelings and lose you. I can’t lose you. Nothing will come of this, please don’t run away. Have I done something wrong? Did you find somebody else that you can have a more beautiful and special friendship with? Are you working on forgetting about me?
Please, tell me I matter to you. I don’t have to be your world, I just want your presence. Heaven save me from these feelings. Please don’t let me go.
Love, a conflicted and stupid girl
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Replyhuhu I can totally relate :(
Replyrelate much:(
ReplyI have a friend like that. I was crushed when we fought. I get terrified everytime he's too busy to talk to me. Nonetheless, we make it through. Everytime after a fight, the next day we drop it. We got it all out, said what we wanted to, it's in the past. Everytime we get too distant or something is off, we don't ignore it, we might fight about it, sure, but we always come back stronger because of it. We're just friends. Strange friends. Wishing you the best!💕
Reply