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...Decided this would be a "safer" environment to test it out...
>Be me, dumped by almost every girl I ever dated, last girl I dated I almost married
>Still super insecure, don’t date a anyone for 4 years
>Finally meet a nice girl, tell her I’m really messed up and warn her about all my problems every step of the way
>Girl reassures me each time she still really cares, she’s super committed, wants to pursue serious relationship anyway, she’s not going anywhere
>Hang out one night, we both confess our deepest darkest secrets, girl continues to stay committed, even says she loves me and wants to get married
>One hour later she says the weight of my problems are starting to sink in
>One week later she says she needs a break, but is willing to wait 6 full months to see if I get better
> Then less than 4 months later officially tells me there’s no hope of us ever getting back together for all the exact same reasons I had been trying to warn her about from the beginning
>But she’s glad we dated because it gave her great confidence for her next relationship
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Regret.
I still miss you. I miss your presence, your hugs, your love. Your laughter. But we can’t be together. No, we shouldn’t be together. Not right now. I despe...
you shouldn't get into a relationship if you're not mentally prepared for it. If you have problems from your past that still affect you, it'll weigh down yourself and other people. You can't depend on others to help you with whatever problems you have, you need to depend on yourself. Only you can over come these problems. Don't worry or think about loving someone else yet, love yourself and build yourself up. You need to learn to accept these problems but better, deal with them so that they're no longer an issue. This girl isn't a bad person, trust me. She tried... she really did, but she put her feelings first cause it took a toll on her. The day these problems are no longer an issue, will be one of the best days of your life, you'll be able to move on and love again, or at least love right. I honestly wish the best for you. Don't let your past experiences get the best of you cause they're just experiences, sure they may traumatize you but they're really there as a lesson and its the best opportunity to grow from them.
ina x
Replyina,
Your comments are kind, and wise. They echo what some of my closest friends and mentors have all been telling me lately. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the encouragement and advice. I will be starting an intensive therapy program very soon to try and get better, and I don't think I'd be doing it if these difficult events hadn't happened. So I'm looking forward to seeing how it benefits me.
Also, I know my post came across as very snarky, and I'd be lying to myself and to everyone else if I denied that I really am still very angry, but you're absolutely right, this girl isn't a bad person, that's a big lie that I've been believing about her. She did try, and she's a strong woman for trying. She has a big heart. I just think maybe my problem is that it's easier to believe the lie that she's malicious, and to use the anger as a defense mechanism, than to accept the full weight of the personal responsibility of yet another love lost. Though to be honest I think accepting full responsibility is another lie as well! It takes two to tango in every relationship, she had baggage and issues she brought to the table too, everyone does. I can't blame myself 100% like I have been. A lot of the things from her end made it hard for us to be compatible too, and actually fed into my weaknesses. So rather it was just...mostly...all my fault. Either way, I think you're right, it's time to focus on me right now and getting better before I pursue anything like this again.
- Obtuse
ReplyI am honestly so happy for you and I genuinely hope that everything works out perfect. Regardless, everyone deserves even the slightest bit of good coming their way. You deserve a lot and I can assure you that. I honestly want to keep updated with your progress in life but that would honestly be so hard cause sooner or later, i'll lose this post. But I know for facts that everything Is going to be alright and sooner or later, you'll be smiling knowing how far you've come.
ina
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