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Dear, any successful person, with a perfect life, talent, and a loving world
4 years ago · 2 · letter, +6
946
I often have a hard time comprehending the actions of others. I was diagnosed autistic late, but all my life I couldn't interact with people well. Because of this, I fell into a deep depression for a couple of years. I still have trouble dealing with my emotions. Homicidal thoughts, suicidal thoughts, violent thoughts. I honestly don't have anybody close outside of my family. Just now my parents were yelling at each other. My mom seemed to overreact to something but then my dad insulted her. I can't take sides. My older brother is away and doesn't have to deal with the drama. But when my sisters were still here, they pretty much took my dad's side. I stopped self-harm for a while but now I have dark cravings towards other creatures. That's the thing I wouldn't want an animal to be in pain. They are innocent. But I want to feed my cravings for gore. I won't get into detail. I'm so screwed up. Not just because of my social skills or environment but I am so obsessed with the purpose of creation. The purpose of me. Why am I like this? Why is my family like this? Be grateful for what you have. Now I'm not saying everyone is perfect and has a perfect world but it does seem some people have it worse than others. I have all this anger in me. And I want the world to know it. But perhaps help will come. I've always longed for support and compassion
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Sounds like you would probably enjoy scientific, medical, or funerary cadaver work.
I think that would be a productive outlet for your cravings, while aslo providing needed services. Your condition, and preference for solitude would make you well suited.
ReplyI have all these anger inside me as well but I like redirecting them towards exercise or boxing etc. Something that will benefit me rather than make me regret my actions. I hope you are able to redirect your anger away from hurting yourself or others.
Reply