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My parents had an affair and that was the result of me. My parents were together in the past and had my two older sisters but got divorced and my father remarried. He had two kids, my older brother and my sister who was born on the same day as me. I grew up with my mom and barley have any memories of my father. He wasn't in my life at all. Didn't go to any of my graduations or birthdays. I only have a couple of memories with my dad's family and even then it was only my sister and brother, not him. I remember always being uncomfortable around my step mom because she is very religious and I'm an atheist. Even as a kid when she talked about God I just got really uncomfortable and wanted to change the subject as fast as possible. I have nothing against other people and their religion, I only have a problem with people who force their religion onto other people. I'm 15 now and I decided to try and get to know my dad better since he is still my father. I have great memories with my brother and sister so if I can't bond with my dad well I can at least get to see them again. I'm filled with so much anxiety about going to see my dad since I hardly know him at all. All I know is he's a religious man and that's it. I don't know his personality or what he likes to do in his spare time. I'm hoping when I go to visit I'll be able to start an actual relationship with him and actually have in my life when he's been absent for all 15 years of it. There is still a lot of fear and if anything I know if I can't handle being there my eldest sister would come pick my up as soon as possible. Still doesn't help with the fear but I'm gonna try anyway. Hoping for the best
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