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Life is fucky
1 week ago · · lost · Explicit
How do you live life when you can't talk about your problems.
When the one person you need and who you'd thought would understand never does.
People with mental health issues are the worst people to try and talk to about your own mental health because they think they know best cus they have issues too. Despite the fact that everyone is different.
I smoke weed to help my brain be quiet, it's been my medication for a long time. She just thinks I have these issues from using it and it only comes up when I don't.
I'm told I have to do shit when Im working all day, and I mentally need a break. I play games to make me feel some sort of satisfaction because the real world doesn't seem to give me satisfaction. If I don't get any feeling of reward or satisfaction I struggle to understand why I'm alive.
I'm alone in my head everyday. Everyday I have constant battles, just some are worse than others.
Its like I'm not allowed it enjoy the things I enjoy in life without being made to feel guilty.
I get treated as if I'm just lazy for not being able to do the simplest of things, in which I end up berating myself for being lazy even though I know its just how my brain is wired.
Now I'm told I'm using my mental health as an excuse. And that I should just spend the time to do shit instead of looking for an easy way out.
This comes from the 1 person I love most, and now I'm battling myself in thinking if my relationship is toxic or if its just me and my outlook at the moment.